All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
(Shakespeare, As You Like It)
We enter the world as dependent babies and often exit as dependent old folks. In between we play many roles. Most of us, at least traditionally, become either husbands or wives and mothers or fathers. Some of us may become bosses at work. More will become employees. Some will become military leaders. Others, military followers. Some will become political leaders, maybe a president, governor, senator, or congressman or woman. Most of us will be citizens who have the privilege and responsibility of voting them in and out. All of us who live long enough will play the role of baby, child, student, teenager, young adult, and middle-aged adult. Many of us will eventually become seasoned citizens and grandparents, maybe even great grandparents!. Our roles in life come and go. They are all important, but none of them truly define us.
The only truly defining role in life, that not everyone gets to experience unfortunately, is “child of God.” From that we derive our core identity.
Born again believers are first and foremost and always God’s children. That will never change. (John 8:35) In fact, all followers of Christ can rightly claim to be “sons,” the whole lot of us – men, women, and children. This is because we find our true identity in Christ, and our relationship with Abba Father is Jesus’ relationship. He is the Son, and we are in Him; therefore, we are all sons, too. Everyone’s core identity is being God’s son.
See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for he allows us to be called his children, and we really are! But the people who belong to this world don’t know God, so they don’t understand that we are his children. 1 John 3:1 (NLT) Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” Galatians 4:6 (NASB)
Building out from this core identity, God gives us various roles to play over a lifetime. We must be careful not to let any of these roles begin to define us in our thinking. They do not. They are temporary, yet very important. How we fulfill them will affect our eternal reward.
First and foremost our roles come from our gender. When a baby arrives in this world, or now when we get the ultrasound results, the key question is whether “it” is a boy or a girl. Then we can accurately label “it” a “he” or “she.”
We experience life through the filter of our gender.
No one can fully know what it is like to live as a member of the opposite sex, regardless of claims to the contrary. Infusions of sex hormones may alter some things, but our chromosomes cannot be changed. Gender is assigned by God and is a determining factor in our life experience.
The wise person embraces God’s gender choice for them.
Over a lifetime, we play many different roles, some which are gender-based and some which are not. We begin as children whose main responsibility is to obey our parents. Next we move into adolescence, when we begin to take on adult responsibilities and privileges, in addition to experiencing adult temptations. Adulthood provides us with many role options – husband, father, wife, mother, breadwinner, boss, employee, leader, follower, disciple, mentor, etc. None of these roles change our core identity.
Each role carries its own responsibilities and privileges. Each of us should attempt to excel at the roles God allows us to play in life. None are insignificant or unimportant to God.
One huge problem with role playing is when we start to think that our roles define us. When those “under” authority start thinking that those “over” them are superior to them, it strikes a blow at our identity. Unfortunately, those in authority often see themselves as actually being superior and communicate that directly or indirectly to those they oversee, thus denigrating and diminishing the perceived worth of those people. This is a serious violation of the authority role. Those in authority have the responsibility to serve and build up those under their care, as well as lead them.
Since I am a man, that is the focus of this series. Women cannot experience or partake of the roles God gives to men that are gender-based, just as women have roles that cannot be experienced by men.
Two unique male roles are being a husband and a father. Each of these roles has specific responsibilities and privileges, which is the theme of this series.
These roles, when properly played, constitute a very high calling, just as being a wife and mother do. I hope this series will help you to gain a greater appreciation for manhood and stir up us men with a determination to be faithful with what God has placed in our hands. Husband and fathers are given the role and responsibility of being the loving “head” of the wife and family, respectively. Wives and children are assigned the role of being under the benevolent headship or authority of the husband or father. It takes faith and humility to properly function in any of these roles.
As is obvious to most women, there may be nothing inherent in the man that makes him better qualified than the wife to be the head of the family. Sometimes wives have more wisdom, discerning, and leadership abilities than the husband God has placed over them. Unless the husband, in such a case, handles his headship with humility, wisdom, and grace, he may make it extremely difficult and unlikely that his wife will submit properly to him. Unless the wife understands her role and identity properly, she may find it next to impossible to follow the husband God has put in her life. We all must see that God is at work in all of these things and is bigger than we imagine.
It requires tremendous faith to be the head of a family or other organization or group, but perhaps it takes even more faith to be a follower. Husbands and fathers, especially those who are aware of their own deficiencies, may be reluctant to lead, but they must do so nevertheless. Failing to lead betrays our calling and the grace supplied to us by God. So, whether we are gifted leaders or reluctant ones, it is vital that we humbly accept the roles God gives to us. Our humility as leaders and heads can make it possible for others to develop fully under our care.
