Many people have deeply embedded beliefs which hold them in bondage until Christ sets them free. One of the most fundamental is the fear of abandonment. We were created to be in relationship with God and be dependent upon his fellowship, guidance, and indwelling life. To attempt to live otherwise is similar to running an engine without oil. Sooner or later it breaks down. When Adam and Eve decided to abandon God and go it alone, it set the stage for the expectation of abandonment by God and others to become our deepest fear. It has hounded humanity ever since.

Each of us has likewise turned our backs on God in some way or another, and sinful people like us always expect to be treated the same way as we treat others. We think God is just like us, ready to abandon us. We think we will get the big “thumbs down” when we stand before him in judgment. The thing is that we deserve to be abandoned, but God did not. We deserve for him to cast us off forever. Is our fear of abandonment well founded then? She we feel this way? Is there any way out?

A deeply embedded fear of abandonment can manifest in various ways, but anxiety and fear of death might be the most common. It also shows up when we have an expectation that those we love and care for eventually are going to reject or leave us. Maybe we have already had that happen, which reinforced the belief that abandonment will always be our lot. Indeed, many people will abandon us over a lifetime, but we err when we transfer what we learn from people into making a judgment about God. He is different from us, thankfully.

The Bible calls the irrational logic of fear a stronghold. (2 Cor. 10:4-5) I call it a lie-based stronghold  because it is rooted in some lie that has just enough of a basis in truth to make it plausible. Strongholds are arguments we erect in our minds that nullify God’s truth and block us from having faith. They act as shields against God’s truth and promises, keeping them away from being able to penetrate into our hearts. The only way to be set free is to repent – to renounce and turn from the lie and open our hearts to God and his truth. Otherwise we stay stuck in unbelief.

The most important promise in the Bible?

If I asked you what are the most important words in the Bible, you might tell me John 3:16 – “for God so loved the world…”, and it would hard to deny your claim. However, I suggest this promise from God for your consideration. I quote from the Young’s Literal Translation.

…He hath said, `No, I will not leave, no, nor forsake thee,’ Hebrews 13:5 (YLT)

This translation captures the essence of the Greek wording, which is a triple negative. In Greek, the more negatives, the stronger it is. They do not offset each other, as in English. God emphasized three times his promise to never abandon us. This should become apparent to us when we contemplate that God loved us even when we were his enemies and our backs were turned to him.

For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7  For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. 8  But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. 9  Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him. 10  For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. 11  And not only this, but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation. Romans 5:6-11 (NASB)  

I encourage you to read and reread the bold text several times, letting the words sink in to your heart, especially the “much more” conclusion.

Jesus Absorbed Our Abandonment

God did not send his Son to die for us because we were such good people. Quite the opposite. Jesus came to earth and willingly gave his life on the cross because God refused to abandon us. He took upon himself the abandonment we deserved. When he agonizingly cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46), he revealed that he was suffering what should have been our lot – to be abandoned by God because of sin. All our sin came upon him (2 Cor. 5:21), so that all his goodness and his wonderful relationship with God the Father could become ours as a free gift. Jesus was abandoned so that we never have to be, if we accept him as our Lord and Savior.

Jesus told his followers that he would send the Holy Spirit.

“I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; John 14:16 (NASB) 

He told us that he would never orphan us. (John 14:18) People fear being alone, orphaned, and abandoned, but those who put their confidence in Jesus never need fear those things. Jesus repaired the damage done by Adam’s and Eve’s sin. He healed the breach between us and God. He destroyed the threat of being abandoned. He brought us permanently into a place of family and closeness. He sent the Holy Spirit to actually live inside us, organically fused to our spirits (1 Cor. 6:17), never ever to leave us alone again. Hallelujah! Believe it!

Prayer to Defeat the Fear and Expectation of Being Abandoned by God

Father in heaven, I confess to you that I have doubted your love for me. I thought you were like me. I abandoned you and went my own way in sin, but you never turned your back on me. Thank you for sending your Son to die for me. Thank you for choosing me before you created the world. (Ephesians 1:4) Thank you for calling me to yourself because you love me. Thank you for revealing your Son Jesus to me and giving me the gifts of repentance and faith. Thank you for your promise that you will never, never, never leave me or forsake me. I repent of doubting your faithful love for me. I renounce the fear of abandonment and receive your promise of everlasting life and love. Fear, I command you to leave me alone from this day forward, in Jesus’ name. Amen.