Category: Godly Manhood

Roles and Responsibilities Given to Men

Each of us were born into this world with significant choices having been made for us. For example, none of us chose to be born. Our gender was not our own decision. Neither was our physical, intellectual, or personality makeup. We did not choose to which family we would belong, in what part of the world to be born, or with what race to be identified. We were not given the option of being born into a family that was poor or wealthy. We were not given the option of being born into a family with both a father and a mother or one having a single parent, or perhaps being an orphan. We did not get to select whether the nation in which we were born was free or oppressed, at peace or at war, impoverished or flourishing. Who made those choices? The obvious answer is God. As a result, we have the obvious option of being reconciled to God’s choice or resenting it.

Adam and Eve chose to rebel against how God made them. God created them and us to be dependent beings who don’t know everything and who must rely on God’s help. Satan, who had already resisted God’s creation order for himself, deceived Adam and Eve into falling for the lie that God did not have their best interests in mind. They thought that being able to decide how to live for themselves was far superior to trusting and obeying God. By casting off their dependence on God, they thrust the entire human race into darkness and destruction, the consistent result of sin. This mindset has been passed down through the ages to every single person born from Adam’s and Eve’s line.

It is the nature of sin to distrust God and seek to run our lives independently from him.

Jesus became a man, embracing his role as the Lamb of God who provided us with forgiveness for our rebellion and offered to us rebellion’s antitoxin – complete surrender to our loving God. All this was to put humanity and the universe back on the right track. This brings us to my first big point.

No one can be truly and thoroughly happy until he or she repents from thinking and living independently from God and surrenders to Christ’s lordship in every area of life.

Gender and Godliness

The Bible teaches that we are composed of three parts: spirit, soul, and body. (1 Thessalonians 5:23) As you would imagine, the salvation provided for us in Christ covers each part. The new birth takes place in the spirit, our innermost being, where we are made new in God’s likeness. We are made completely right with God or justified. We are joined to God’s Spirit, which provides us with God’s life, mind, and presence. We do not have to look for God in some distant place. He comes to live inside each believer. The new birth is based on what Christ already accomplished for us through his death and resurrection. It is a done deal that is activated by our faith in response to the Spirit’s work in our lives.

The salvation of the body awaits for us in the future. Our salvation will be completed on the day Jesus returns and raises us from the dead. At that point in history, God’s threefold salvation will be finished when we will be instantly changed into Christ’s glory and likeness, never to die again. It is a future hope.

The salvation of the soul is an ongoing daily process through which the Spirit of God is transforming us into Christ’s likeness as we respond in faith and obedience to God’s Word and the Spirit’s promptings. This is the present aspect of our salvation which will largely determine the nature of the reward we will receive at the Last Judgment. In other words, how we live today matters. Another way of thinking of this present daily salvation is that we live in a dynamic tension between what God has already done (justification) and what is coming in the future (glorification). In our present struggle against temptation and sin, we look backward to remember that Christ already defeated sin through his cross and resurrection. We also look forward to our certain future glorification, knowing that in God’s eyes it is a done deal. Nevertheless, it takes faith, courage, and determination to live for Christ each day. Paul called this “working out our salvation.” (Philippians 2:12) We work out what God has worked in us. We partner with God in an amazing “dance” of grace with our invisible Helper and Partner, the Holy Spirit.

What does this have to do with gender? I am glad you asked.

The new birth makes us all “sons” of God because the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of the Son, comes to live inside us, crying out “Abba” Father. Spiritually speaking, we are all sons of God.

Paul went so far as to say that, in this new birth spiritual reality, there is neither male nor female.

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28 (NASB)

Jesus also taught us that in the future resurrection, there will be no marriage, indicating that gender will not be relevant, which agrees with the previous passage in Galatians.

"For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. Matthew 22:30 (NASB)

But what about now? Clearly in the present situation in which we find ourselves, gender is of great significance. In a real sense, in our present experience of life as human beings, we are influenced by our gender. Our physical and soulical makeup is vastly different depending on whether we are male of female. The way we view and experience life differs as well. The roles we play in the reproductive process are dissimilar. Only males can be husbands and fathers, and only females can be wives and mothers. This is by God’s design.

Even though spiritually men and women are the same, we must embrace the gender-based roles given to us by God in our present historical situation as we await the resurrection, if we are going to fully glorify God.

Roles Given Specifically to Men

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
(Shakespeare,  As You Like It)

A role, like a part in a play, does not fundamentally define who we are. It merely gives us parameters for living. We might think of it as a test of our obedience to God’s choice for us.

As believers, we are truly defined by our identity in Christ as children of God. At the identity level there is no distinction based on gender, race, age, nationality, politics, social status, or wealth. However, in the historical time bound world in which we all presently live, we are given roles to play. Over a lifetime, these roles may change. We first play the role of a child. Later, if we live long enough, we become adults. Within the adult world there are many roles we may play: boss, worker, leader, follower, etc. A boss is not superior to his workers, but he does have authority and deserves honor based on his role. Being able to distinguish between identity and role helps us to properly play our role as unto the Lord.

Properly serving based on the roles we have in this life is part of what it means to be godly in this present age.

Disciples

The first role every man or woman of God needs to embrace is that of a disciple.

Until we surrender to Christ and become his follower or disciple, we will not be successful at properly functioning in the other roles available to us.

Allowing God’s Spirit to transform our thinking and behavior enables us to live as God intends.

Husbands

A very important gender based role that most men will be able to play during their lives on earth is that of a husband. Only men can be husbands, if we accept the biblical and true definition and understanding of the word. What does it mean to be a husband? Paul gives us insight in the fifth chapter of Ephesians.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23  For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24  But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. 25  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26  so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27  that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28  So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; Ephesians 5:22-28 (NASB)

Let’s focus on two aspects of what it means to be a husband that are found in this passage.

First of all to be a husband means to be “head” of the wife and family. Secondly, husbands are to pour themselves out in love for those under their care.

Headship refers to the authority and leadership associated with the responsibility of being a husband. In God’s kingdom, the more responsible we are, the more authority we are given. Otherwise, being the head would be an exercise in frustration. Conversely, God does not give authority simply for its own sake or to be used selfishly.

Authority and responsibility go together.Husbands have authority from God to lead their wives, provide for them, nurture and develop them, and protect them.

In no way does this infer that the husband is superior to the wife. Quite the opposite, as Jesus pointed out, the lesser serves the greater. (Luke 22:27)

Even though the husband has authority as the head, he is the chief servant in the family.

This is how it works in God’s kingdom. Husbands are commissioned to lay down their lives in loving service to their wives and family, even as Christ laid down his life for the church. This brings us to an important insight about husbands.

Husbands have the unique privilege and responsibility to represent Christ to their wives.

It is hard to imagine a nobler or more challenging role in life than that! We need God’s help to do this, obviously. Most men are inherently selfish and self-centered. Marriage is designed to deliver us from this sinful orientation as we learn to properly love and serve.

When husbands properly model Christ to their wives, it is a way we indirectly preach the gospel. By demonstrating Christ’s selfless love toward our wives and families, people outside the faith get some understanding of Christ, especially when wives return the favor by loving and respecting their husbands.

Children of such a marriage are greatly impacted and will carry into adult life a positive image of marriage. When the wife reciprocates by loving, honoring, respecting, partnering with, and following her husband’s leadership, family life will become heavenly. Each spouse must choose to focus on what Christ has commanded him or her. Husbands should focus on loving and serving their spouses, and wives, on loving and respecting their husbands. It is usually a mistake to focus on what our spouse is supposed to do, especially if we try to nag them into doing their part. We can trust the Spirit to do his part as we do ours.

Fathers

Fatherhood is usually the natural outcome of marriage, if our reproductive systems are functioning properly and we cooperate in the process. If we cannot have biological children, we usually have the option to adopt. As challenging as marriage is, fatherhood may be even more.

Our heavenly father is the source of life itself. Paul wrote:

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15  from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, Ephesians 3:14-15 (NASB)

In the human realm, God allows fathers to become the source of life for their children. Likewise, all blessings flow from Abba to us.

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. James 1:17 (NASB)

Father God desires for human fathers to be conduits of blessings from God to their families.

God’s goodness is past human comprehension. Jesus had to become a human being in order to reveal to us by his words and example what Abba is like. We can only understand God’s nature by observing his Son. In a similar yet lesser way, children gain their first understanding of Abba through their human Dad.

Fathers represent Abba Father to their children.

How we fulfill this responsibility has an enormous impact on our children. If we are present in their lives in a loving and affirming way, it gives our children an enormous head start in life. If we fail our children by being absent or by actually harming them, we undercut their ability to know and trust the Father in heaven.

Some of the ways that Dad’s are commissioned to properly represent Abba are as follows.

  • Fathers should lavish love, delight, and affirmation on their children. This includes speaking blessings over them. Blessings release grace into their lives. Words have the ability to build up or tear down. Fathers’ words have extraordinary impact.
But even as he spoke, a bright cloud came over them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy. Listen to him.” Matthew 17:5 (NLT) 

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.Proverbs 18:21 (NASB)
  • Fathers should provide a safe and secure environment for development and growth.
Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine Within your house, Your children like olive plants Around your table. Psalm 128:3 (NASB)
  • Fathers discipline their children in order to form them into God-fearing responsible adults.
He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently. Proverbs 13:24 (NASB)
  • Fathers teach their children the values and skills necessary to be successful in life. This includes spiritual, social, and practical things.
  • Fathers release their children into adulthood gradually at first and completely when they are ready. The goal of fatherhood is to produce responsible adults who will duplicate the discipleship process in their own children. Godly fathers get more pleasure in seeing their sons and daughters excel than in succeeding themselves.

Leaving a Legacy

A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, And the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous. Proverbs 13:22 (NASB)

Whether we intend it or not, each of us will leave a legacy to those who follow. It will be either a blessing or something to be overcome. While we are alive, we are able to choose which sort we will leave behind at our deaths.

No matter where we may begin our journey in life, we have the opportunity to move forward in God. Those who were born into unkind circumstances or inherited a poor legacy from their forefathers have a starting line for their race that is behind where those with a good inheritance may begin. God does not compare us one against the other, and neither should we. The important thing is that we move our family legacy forward.

The Allied soldiers who stormed the beaches of Normandy on D-Day laid a foundation for those who followed at great expense to themselves. Perhaps we find ourselves in a similar situation regarding our family. If our family has a long history of abuse, addiction, crime, abandonment, or other forms of sin and destruction, it will be very challenging for us to break free from that cycle in order to provide a better starting place for our children, but it will be worth it. Salvation is generational in that each generation builds on what the previous ones provided for them. I encourage you fathers to make the decision to build a lasting legacy for succeeding generations. Though future sons and daughters may not fully appreciate what you do, God sees and will reward you.

A Father’s Reward

Jesus came to restore us to a right relationship with his, and now our, Abba Father. That was his goal for us, in order to bring his Father glory and honor and us enduring joy.

By turning our hearts back toward Abba Father, he made it possible for earthly Dads and their children to be in right relationship, too.

When a proper relationship exists between father and son or father and daughter, it is a source of great blessing. The absence of the father – child connection opens the door to many negative consequences.

“Look, I am sending you the prophet Elijah before the great and dreadful day of the LORD arrives. 6  His preaching will turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and the hearts of children to their fathers. Otherwise I will come and strike the land with a curse.” Malachi 4:5-6 (NLT)

Much of the trouble we see in our nation and around the world originated in the break of the relationship between fathers and their children, which ultimately goes back to a broken or damaged relationship between human dads and Abba. When we get the Abba-human dad relationship right, the other can more easily follow.

Fathers who have been reconciled to Abba can help their own children grow up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2  “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3  “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4  Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4 (ESV)

A father’s joy is seeing his children do well.

Solomon said that a wise son makes a glad father. (Proverbs 10:1) Conversely, having a fool for a son or daughter is a heavy load for any parent to bear. Ultimately, our children must make their own way in life. A parent’s role is to give them the love, affirmation, blessings, and other tools they will need to succeed, but children must make their own choices.

Perfect parenting does not guarantee perfect results. Neither does poor parenting guarantee that children will fail.

Where human dads miss the mark, our heavenly Abba can supply what is missing. Where dads hurt their children, Abba can bring healing. Where parents did a good job, but kids nevertheless went down a wrong path, Abba can bring comfort to the parents and correction to the children. If parents realize they failed their children, there is forgiveness and hope for the future. We do our best, hopefully, but all of us make plenty of mistakes as a parent and as a child.

For those of us who do not have our own natural children, there are lots of opportunities to be a “father” to those who are natural or spiritual orphans.

Adoption is a very important theme in the Bible. Moses was adopted. So was Jesus. Every born again follower of Christ is God’s child through adoption. For those of us whose children are now grown, we can now invest in however many others God brings our way who need a fatherly touch.

One day we will receive a reward for our labors, but even now we can rejoice as we watch our proteges successfully navigate life using the skills and blessings we passed on to them.

A father’s reward comes from pouring out his life into his children and watching them succeed and go even farther than he ever did.

The blessing continues as we watch our children pass the blessing forward to their own offspring. And when we ultimately stand before God’s throne at the judgment, we will hear him say, “Well done!” Hallelujah!

After all, what gives us hope and joy, and what will be our proud reward and crown as we stand before our Lord Jesus when he returns? It is you! 20  Yes, you are our pride and joy. 1 Thessalonians 2:19-20 (NLT)

Click here to see entire series on The Roles and Responsibilities of Godly Men.

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A Father’s Reward

Jesus came to restore us to a right relationship with Abba Father. You might say that was his end game for us, in order to bring his Father much glory and honor.

By turning our hearts back toward Abba Father, he made it possible for earthly Dads and their children to be in right relationship, too.

Having a proper relationship exist between father and son or father and daughter is a source of blessing. The absence of the father – child connection opens the door to many negative consequences.

“Look, I am sending you the prophet Elijah before the great and dreadful day of the LORD arrives. 6  His preaching will turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and the hearts of children to their fathers. Otherwise I will come and strike the land with a curse.” Malachi 4:5-6 (NLT)

Much of the trouble we see in our nation and around the world originated in the break of the relationship between fathers and their children, which ultimately goes back to the absence of a relationship between human dads and Abba. When we get the Abba-human dad relationship right, the other can more easily follow.

Fathers who have been reconciled to Abba can help their own children grow up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2  “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3  “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4  Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4 (ESV)

 

A father’s joy is seeing his children do well.

Solomon said that a wise son makes a glad father. (Proverbs 10:1) Conversely, having a fool for a son or daughter is a heavy load for any parent to bear. Ultimately, our children must make their own way in life. A parent’s role is to give them the love, affirmation, blessings, and other tools they will need to succeed, but children must make their own choices.

Perfect parenting does not guarantee perfect results. Neither does poor parenting guarantee that children will fail.

Where dads miss the mark, our heavenly Abba can supply what is missing. Where dads hurt their children, Abba can bring healing. Where parents did their best, but kids nevertheless went down a wrong path, Abba can bring comfort to the parents and correction to the children. Where parents realize they failed, there is forgiveness and hope for the future. We do our best, hopefully, but all of us make plenty of mistakes as a parent and as a child.

For those of us who do not have our own natural children, there are lots of opportunities to be a “father” to those who are natural or spiritual orphans.

Adoption is one of the important themes of the Bible. Moses was adopted. So was Jesus. Every born again follower of Christ is God’s child through adoption. For those of us whose children are now grown, we can now invest in however many others God brings our way, who need a fatherly touch.

One day we will receive the reward for our labors, but even now we can rejoice as we watch our proteges successfully navigate life using the skills and blessings we passed on to them.

A father’s reward comes from pouring out his life into his children and watching them succeed and go farther than he ever did.

The blessing continues as we watch our children pass the blessing forward to their own offspring. And when we ultimately stand before God’s throne at the judgment, we will hear him say, “Well done!” Hallelujah!

After all, what gives us hope and joy, and what will be our proud reward and crown as we stand before our Lord Jesus when he returns? It is you! 20  Yes, you are our pride and joy. 1 Thessalonians 2:19-20 (NLT)

Click here to see entire series on The Roles and Responsibilities of Godly Men.

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Leaving a Legacy

A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, And the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous. Proverbs 13:22 (NASB)

The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children after them. Proverbs 20:7 (NLT)

We may have received a wonderful inheritance from our ancestors or they have left us much to overcome. Each of us starts our personal faith journey at a line set by our forefathers. That is one reason it is quite impossible to properly judge a life. Only God can do that.

Regardless of where we begin our life journey, we can and should devote our time here on earth to helping those who follow us to have an easier time of it. We can leave something godly and good for our own descendants. This is the generational aspect of salvation.

Knowing a little about our family history can help us to better grasp how we can move our family forward in God. My own genealogical research has produced some great information. I found godly men and women, about whom I knew nothing previously and from whom I am no doubt a benefactor of their passing down spiritual blessings to me and others. Not surprisingly, I also found the opposite, which helps me to know better how to pray and stand by faith.

Our family’s past influences us, but it need not define our lives or legacy.

Alcoholism was something very prevalent on both sides of my family tree, but my Dad and Mom responded to God’s grace and made decisions that almost completely broke that curse from wrapping itself around other family members. The same can be said for many others families who have their own heroes who stood up to longstanding family bondage and sin, making it far easier for those who follow.

Over the years as a pastor, I have worked with many whose family inheritance was atrocious – everything from criminal activity, abandonment, addiction, violence, and abuse of various kinds.

Men who come from these sorts of families and who attempt to be godly husbands and fathers, without ever having experienced or even seen positive examples, are at an extreme disadvantage.

If that is our own situation, what can be done?

When the Allies assaulted the beaches of Normandy on D-Day, many men in the first wave gave their lives to make it possible for future waves to have safe access to the landing areas. Someone had to do it, and they were chosen. Those who came later in the day benefited immensely from the sacrifices of their predecessors. Leaving a legacy of godliness can be like this. If we are working to undo generations of family devastation, we must realize that we will have to fight more for our gains than some others who inherited something far better from their ancestors. Do not compare yourself to others. Simply be the best battler and legacy maker you can be. You will only be able to make a certain amount of progress during your lifetime and must depend on your sons and daughters to carry the banner forward in their time. That’s how godly legacies are begun and passed down.

Every one of us is going to leave a legacy of some sort.

Did we love our wives and family? Did we serve God? Did we model what it means to be one of Christ’s disciples? Were we faithful? These are the things for which we want to be remembered. None of us wants to pass on laziness, passivity, defeat, and other forms of bondage to future generations.

We must ask ourselves, “What price am I willing to pay now to bless my children and grand children?”

That is between you and God, but whatever you and I decide and do will be felt by many, many others. Future generations may not know to whom they owe a debt of gratitude, but God knows, and so will you. Whatever the price, it will be well worth it.

Below are some of the ways we can leave a godly legacy. It is never too early to start, which is why I listed each stage of life. Spiritually speaking, you may be in the childhood stage, even though you are an adult.

The Childhood Stage – Building Strong Foundations

  • Study God’s Word with all your might. Even children can hunger to know more of God’s Word for themselves. When our children were small, we played cassette tapes for them on which characters sang the scriptures. It worked very well to instill the Bible into their hearts.
  • Learn to pray and make it a part of your life. True humility knows that it cannot do this thing called life without God’s help.
  • Be a worshiper and share your faith with others.
  • Exercise your faith. Don’t merely affirm doctrine. Trust God.
  • Aspire to live in true holiness and purity without becoming legalistic. Devote yourself to God’s purposes for your life. If you do not know what they are yet, keep seeking. We can always simply tell Jesus that we are his to direct and command.
  • Be accountable. Find a mentor (your father?) who will disciple you and encourage you to reach your spiritual goals.
  • Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal more of the Father’s love to you.
  • Be faithful in the small things. Serve those who are in leadership.
  • Be careful to stay properly related to the authority people in your life.

The Young Man Stage – Exercising Our Spiritual Muscles

  • Find true freedom by believing in the finished work of Christ and by learning to walk in the Spirit.
  • Learn to exercise the authority you have in Christ in sharing the Gospel, praying for people, engaging in spiritual warfare, and responding to faith challenges.
  • Be willing to take on new responsibilities. Let God stretch you by doing things outside your “comfort zone.” Refuse to limit yourself by what you think you can do. Trust God to help you accomplish great things.
  • Continue to be a man who is under authority while learning to lead.
  • Be faithful in whatever you do.
  • Act as a protector of others in prayer and in other ways.
  • Continue to be discipled while learning to disciple others.

The Fatherhood Stage – Building for the Future

  • Transition from primarily focusing on your own life and goals to helping others discover and fulfill their potential.
  • Invest heavily in the younger generation. Look for promising disciples and leaders and help them develop.
  • Pass the leadership or ministry baton when appropriate and allow your disciples to try their wings. They may naturally defer to you, which is good, but insist that they learn to operate as the lead person with you on the sidelines acting as cheerleader and coach. Act as friend, counselor, and supporter in your new role as Dad of adult children.
  • If your own children are grown and have left the nest, use your newfound freedom and excess time to expand your ministry horizons, which can also open up opportunities for those you mentor and lead.
  • Stay connected in accountable relationships.

Concluding Thoughts

Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. 4 Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing. Philippians 2:3-4 (NLT)
  • You will not always be in the picture. Make good use of your time.
  • God often saves the best for last.
  • Make it your aim to be faithful in every stage of life.
  • Prepare now to enjoy life and be fruitful in your latter years.

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Fathers Represent Abba to Their Children

As if accurately modeling Christ’s love to our wives were not daunting enough, men who have children are charged to be representatives of Father God, too.

Good fathers provide their children with a first and lasting idea of Abba’s character and love.

Jesus perfectly represented his Father to us, and we must do the best we can for our children.

Because of the poor job done by many human fathers, our heavenly Father has a public relations problem. I remember praying with one woman who had experienced terrible things at the hands of an abusive step-father. When she contemplated praying directly to Father God, it scared her. She had a very poor impression of a God who would allow such things to happen to her. That poisoned caricature of her loving Abba painted by a man who failed in his charge of properly representing Abba kept her from having a loving relationship with her Creator Father God for many years. Thankfully, Jesus set her free from all that, and she eventually came to trust her Abba. Conversely, when a father properly models Abba’s heart to his children, it gives them a tremendous advantage in life and in their knowledge of and relationship with God.

Knowing Abba is our greatest quest in life, and modeling Abba to our children is the greatest role in life.

If we succeed here, we have done what is most important. If we fail here, we will have transgressed in a major way and hurt a life incalculably. Below are some ways we can properly represent Abba to our children. But first, let’s meditate on the following passage from Ephesians.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15  from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16  that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18  may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19  and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19 (ESV)

 

Fathers lavish kindness and love on their children and delight in them.

The “Parable of the Prodigal Son” is a great example. Many think that story should be entitled “The Parable of the Prodigal Father” instead. To be prodigal means to spend lavishly or wastefully. We learn from this parable that…

Fathers are to lavish love and attention on their children, even when they do not respond in kind. In other words, it is unconditional.

If we did not receive this kind of love from our own dads, we must ask Abba to teach us how to give away to our children what we did not receive. Abba loved us even when we were his enemies.

In order to do this, we must first receive love from Abba, if we want to have something give away.

The worst thing we can do is to model to our children the idea that Father God is indifferent and distant from us. We must choose to properly present a father’s love so that children gain the idea that God wants them around and is vitally interested in the details of their lives. The proper word to describe all this is “delight.” One of the great revelations in life is when we find out that Abba actually likes us, as well as loves us. Children know when they are merely tolerated. When parents show more affection for one child than another, it communicates rejection. This was true in the case of Joseph and his brothers. They hated him for it, probably because it so wounded their hearts that they were not loved in the same way. Good earthly fathers delight in their children. Of course, we will not be able to do this for our children, if we have not come to understand that Abba delights in us. We can only give away what we have received. This puts a burden on every father to seek God for what we need to be for our children.

Abba spoke words of affirmation and delight over his Son.

But even as he spoke, a bright cloud came over them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy. Listen to him.” Matthew 17:5 (NLT)

Delight does more to affirm our children than perhaps anything else we can do for them.

Every child hopes and longs for his or her father’s approval. Do not withhold it. The withholding of delight is a powerfully negative form of covert rejection. Children know the difference between the words, “I love you,” and genuine delight.

Sometimes a father’s love is not returned, at least for a while, if his son or daughter is self-centered and determined to learn life’s lessons the hard way. Abba-like fathers will be there for their children when they finally come to their senses. Fathers who properly love their children will provide the kind of secure family atmosphere that God intends for all children.

Fathers bless their children and provide a secure and safe environment for growth and expression.

Earthly fathers, like shepherds, are charged with providing a safe and secure environment in which their children can grow and thrive.

The LORD is my shepherd; I have all that I need. 2  He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. Psalm 23:1-2 (NLT)

An important aspect of a father’s protection is shielding his children from undue criticism or rejection. Little children do not have adult abilities to discern what is true and what is opinion. Whatever a father tells his child will be believed when children are young.

If fathers speak words of affirmation and encouragement, it will build the child on the inside. Fathers who tear down their children with negative hurtful words impact those little lives for a lifetime in the wrong direction.

Children need to know they are protected from outside dangers and that the one they trust will never betray them. This is how ABBA is. It is how we fathers must be, too.

Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. James 1:17 (NLT)

Abba is the source of all blessings, and he designed things so that blessings flow from him through earthly fathers to their families, if everything is working as it should.

If an earthly father is serving the devil, demonic anti-blessings (curses) may be passed down.

Fathers need to realize that they are part of a long relay race coming down through the generations.

Every child inherits good and bad things from previous generations of fathers. Good decisions made by previous fathers often provide residual blessings for generations to come. Conversely sins and poor life decisions made by previous generations of fathers can negatively impact children, grandchildren, etc. We are not responsible for the sins of our ancestors, but we may reap the consequences of their sins. This called the law of sowing and reaping. (Galatians 6:7) Only Jesus can set us free from this vicious cycle. (If you want to read more about how this works, click here.)

One of the great things any father can do for his children is consciously and deliberately speak blessings aloud over them.

It may be done at a special blessing event when the child arrives at a milestone in life, such as a 16th birthday. It can and should be done informally on a continual basis. A father’s blessing carries great weight and goes a long way to insuring success. A father’s “curse,” hurtful words spoken in anger and spite, go into the heart and soul of the child, guaranteeing future problems, unless that child is set free by Jesus.

Good fathers carefully guard their words to their children, knowing that what they say shapes their lives.

Fathers teach their children how to be successful in life.

When children are small, they need love and watchful care. As they mature, they must be prepared for the coming day when they will be thrust into the world as self-governing adults, who will need to provide for their own families. Fathers are charged to teach their children a wide variety of life skills, including a love for the truth, a fear of God, a devotion to Jesus, love for family, loyalty to friends, obedience to authority, and faithfulness in performing responsibilities. Fathers have the ability to intuitively know in what areas each of their children have talent and can gently guide them into appropriate fields of work. Fathers should model how to be a good husband and father and teach their sons and daughters how to select a spouse.

Fathers discipline their children.

For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. Proverbs 3:12 (NLT)

Loving fathers discipline their children. The opposite is also true, disinterested fathers fail in this area. Discipline is difficult. It requires loving firmness and consistency. When parents get lazy, they tend to let their children get away with things until things reach a point that the parents get angry and react sometimes inappropriately harshly. Proper discipline is done with love and restraint with the ultimate good of the child in mind. We are preparing children for life, not simply trying to make things easy for ourselves as parents.

Fathers release their children into adulthood.

Godly fathers get more pleasure in seeing their sons and daughters excel than in succeeding themselves.

They are able to hand off the baton and get out of the way as soon as possible and advisable. Fathers want their children to grow up and be able to make wise decisions; so, they provide opportunities to make some choices while they still under their watchful supervision. While children are very small, they must be led with a strong hand, but as they grow older, parents must learn to give them room to develop, mature, and “spread their wings.” We should encourage our children that they are able to survive and thrive in the “adult” world.

If we succeed in adequately representing ABBA to our children and others we may mentor, we lay a foundation for their spiritual and practical growth that is incalculable.

If we misrepresent God in these areas, we can do enormous damage. Where there has been abuse or abandonment, children will need to overcome deeply embedded lies about who Abba is and what his attitude toward them is. Where there has been a failure to protect, children may have difficulty in trusting God. Where there has been criticism, children may fear expressing their true opinions and personalities or even attempting new things.

We dads have enormous shoes to fill, but God’s grace is sufficient.

It may be that you will need significant healing and breakthroughs in accepting God’s love and truth in your own life before you can be an effective father. If that is the case, please do not delay in getting the help you need. There is no sense in passing on our dysfunction to another generation. Perhaps the challenge of being a good father will be just the motivation you need to finally come to know your heavenly Father as he desires. It may well be the greatest thing to ever happen to you.

I am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning...  1 John 2:13 (NASB)

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Husbands Represent Christ to Their Wives

Two significant gender specific roles men may play over a lifetime are husband and father.

Both are so weighty and beyond our natural ability that we must rely on God’s help. If we get these right, we will be a huge blessing. If we fail, we will damage those we should be helping. First, we will look at how husband represent Christ to their wives.

The following passage written by Paul to the church in Ephesus is often used in pre-marital counseling, post-marital counseling, in the wedding service itself, and generally in teaching the responsibility of husbands to love their wives. Unfortunately, men often focus more on what Paul wrote to wives regarding obeying their husbands, instead of on what God says to us men.

Scripture was never meant to be used as a whip to beat others into submission. Rather, it is given to bring us to repentance and obedience ourselves. When men learn to love their wives properly, their wives will be encouraged to lovingly and biblically relate to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26  that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27  so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28  In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28 (ESV)

God has made us husbands responsible to love our wives as Christ loves the church. There could hardly be a more challenging and humbling role. Jesus called himself the Good Shepherd. Husbands are shepherds to their families, representing the Chief Shepherd in various ways.

We husbands are to model Christ to our wives and families in attitude, word, and deed.

We will only be able to get this right with the help of God’s Spirit. It is no small thing to be Christ’s representative in the home. We will greatly influence our wives and children either positively or negatively, depending how well we do this. God charges every husband with the duty of loving his wife sacrificially, providing for her, protecting her, teaching her, developing her, helping her, and giving her godly leadership.

Many young men come into marriage with a very selfish perspective, which is the opposite of Christ. Young men are selfish sexually and in their use of time and money. The wife is often more naturally nurturing and unselfish and can be deeply hurt by her young self-centered husband over and over again during these early years. Husbands are told to be gentle with their wives. Harshness undermines our role as Christ’s representative.

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)

God works in men through marriage to make us more other-centered and unselfish. This is part of our preparation for dynamic fatherhood. Let’s take a look at some specific aspects of our responsibilities as husbands.

Husbands model Christ’s unselfish love through serving.

Shepherds exist to care for the sheep. If you are a man who thinks that your wife and children are supposed to wait on you because you work so hard all day, you are a man who does not understand Christ’s relationship to the church. Jesus poured out his life for his followers – literally. He washed their feet. He suffered and died for them. Despite clearly understanding his role as Lord, he did not “lord it over” them.

Husbands should view themselves as the home’s chief servant. Our families learn Christ from us.

Sacrificially loving our wives means we put their needs and desires in front of our own, which is not easy for us to do. We are called to deny our own wants in order to bless her. This means we cannot do everything we want to do as young men. As Jesus put it: we are not here to serve ourselves, but others.

So Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. 43  But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, 44  and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. 45  For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:42-45 (NLT)

 

Husbands are providers.

As shepherds of their families, an important way that men serve their families is by providing for them.

Some men feel overwhelmed by this responsibility, but that is only because they have not learned that Abba Father is fully committed to provide for them.

As husbands and fathers grow in their relationship with Abba, it helps them properly represent Christ. In years past, men were expected to be the sole breadwinners. Today the husband and wife often share this burden, and in some cases the wife may be the primary earner. There is nothing inherently wrong with this set up. It may simply reflect the wife’s greater abilities and opportunities. It can go wrong, however, if the husband begins to think less of himself because of his wife’s success, or if the wife begins to despise her husband as a result. Regardless of who makes the most money for the family, the husband can never abdicate his responsibility carry the primary spiritual weight of being the provider. Nor is he allowed to slip into a despondent or passive attitude, thereby thrusting the weight of the role of provider onto the shoulders of his wife.

The LORD is my shepherd; I have all that I need. 2  He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. Psalm 23:1-2 (NLT)

 

Husbands are protectors of the family.

Shepherds protect their flocks from outside attack and from bullies inside the flock. This protection includes financial, spiritual, relational, and physical aspects.

Husbands are called to be the “point man” to confront the enemy, to stand in the gap for their families.

A husband who is introverted and less bold should never press his wife to do the hard and and uncomfortable things; so he can avoid his responsibilities. Any woman who does this for her husband becomes an enabler. The husband is supposed to take the initiative to ensure that the forces of darkness are kept at bay. He should close all known doors of temptation and demonic oppression through personal repentance and careful watching.

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. 5  You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Psalm 23:4-5 (NLT)
Husbands are teachers.

Many adults were never taught the great truths of the Bible or how to do even the simplest things by their parents. Husbands should take the lead in seeking the Lord with their wives and helping them grow in the Lord. We should be humble enough to draw upon whatever knowledge and wisdom our wives possess. Wives may come into the marriage far ahead of us in spiritual things, but this is no excuse for not taking responsibility. There is an “anointing” upon the husband to lead and teach. God will help us “catch up” if we are behind.

We cannot allow ourselves to be intimidated in spiritual matters. This puts a responsibility on husbands to study. Many men are lazy when it comes to spiritual things and, as a result, have little to offer, which is a great travesty and robs the wife and family of what God would have provided for them.

Husbands are leaders.

Leading does not mean that husbands get their way exclusively or have permission to “lord it over” their wives and children. It does mean that he must seek God and work with his wife to arrive at wise and godly decisions.

Even if a husband delegates some of the decision making to his wife, he is ultimately responsible before God.

Modeling leadership is one of the most effective ways to lead. The husband models what it means to be a servant leader. His wife and children benefit from the way he pours himself out in loving service to them.

He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. Psalm 23:2 (NLT)
Husbands are developers.

One of the goals of a godly husband is to help his wife become all God intends, thereby reaching her full potential. Wives were never intended to be passive doormats. They complement their husbands and often have tremendous callings and abilities that need to be developed and flourish. The amazing woman in Proverbs 31 is our model.

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Roles and Responsibilities Given to Men: Part 3 – Don’t Skip This!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before moving forward in our study of men’s gender-based roles, it is vital that we don’t skip the most basic role every born again child of God has while here on planet earth – being a disciple! Jesus said:

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” Matthew 4:19 (NIV)

Being a disciple means we follow Christ the person (via the Spirit), his teachings (the Scripture), and we embrace his mission (the Great Commission). This role springs from our core identity, but it is not eternal; since, in heaven we will know as we are known. At the present, we are learners (disciples).

Jesus’ method of discipleship was part teaching and part doing. He modeled the behaviors and ministry skills he wanted his followers to develop.

True discipleship must include active ministry, or we only have a Greek-style school. Being a disciple is not so much about filling our heads with knowledge as it is about developing our relationship with God and putting our faith into practice in ways that will glorify God and impact the people around us.

“Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:16 (NASB)

We shine as lights in the world by performing good deeds in Christ’s name and by sharing the Good News about the one true Light. Disciples model God’s love in order to help people get past their objections to the message of love, the gospel. Disciples learn to share the gospel effectively, minister in the power of God’s Spirit, and generally love on people. Disciples make a point of going to where lost and unchurched are, instead of expecting them to come to us. Disciples value and model Christian hospitality as a means to extend God’s kingdom. Disciples see their neighborhoods as their mission field and invest heavily in the people who live, work, and play around them. Fishers of men have many friends outside the church. How else will we reach them?

When Dads wholeheartedly devote themselves to the pursuit of God’s kingdom, they model for their children what it means to be a Christ follower. When Dad’s include their children in reaching out (fishing for men), it teaches them what is most most important.

I have observed that children of parents who are devoted to Christ in word and deed are more likely to adopt kingdom values and commitments than the children of nominal believers.

This is not rocket science. Kids notice what their parents love and serve, and, if there is love and respect, they will imitate them. What we do is more important than what we say, because kids see through shallowness and hypocrisy in adults. They will likely reject our words, if our lifestyle does not back them up.

We Dads cannot afford to be passive or lukewarm with regard to Christ, the gospel, discipleship, and mission. There is much more at stake than our own eternal reward. We must think generationally and realize that how we live will impact generations to come.

Most parents feel the tension between being on mission and raising a family. The solution is to include the family when you are on mission. Include them when you have friends and neighbors over. Take them when you go on any kind of outreach, including visiting neighbors. Children have a way of disarming people and opening their hearts.

Model what you hope to see develop in your kids.

Figure out ways to make routine family events and celebrations missional. Have people join you at family meals. Let your kids see you share the gospel and pray for people. Let them participate when you do acts of kindness for neighbors and friends.

Our children are our most important disciples. If we fail with them, our other successes will be rather hollow. We can only give away what we possess. We must give ourselves to being a disciple, if we hope to see the same in our children. Please don’t fail to prioritize this role or you may miss everything else.

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Embracing Our God-given Roles

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
(Shakespeare,  As You Like It)

We enter the world as dependent babies and often exit as dependent old folks. In between we play many roles. Most of us, at least traditionally, become either husbands or wives and mothers or fathers. Some of us may become bosses at work. More will become employees. Some will become military leaders. Others, military followers. Some will become political leaders, maybe a president, governor, senator, or congressman or woman. Most of us will be citizens who have the privilege and responsibility of voting them in and out. All of us who live long enough will play the role of baby, child, student, teenager, young adult, and middle-aged adult. Many of us will eventually become seasoned citizens and grandparents, maybe even great grandparents!. Our roles in life come and go. They are all important, but none of them truly define us.

The only truly defining role in life, that not everyone gets to experience unfortunately, is “child of God.” From that we derive our core identity.

Born again believers are first and foremost and always God’s children. That will never change. (John 8:35) In fact, all followers of Christ can rightly claim to be “sons,” the whole lot of us – men, women, and children. This is because we find our true identity in Christ, and our relationship with Abba Father is Jesus’ relationship. He is the Son, and we are in Him; therefore, we are all sons, too. Everyone’s core identity is being God’s son.

See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for he allows us to be called his children, and we really are! But the people who belong to this world don’t know God, so they don’t understand that we are his children. 1 John 3:1 (NLT)

Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!”  Galatians 4:6 (NASB)

Building out from this core identity, God gives us various roles to play over a lifetime. We must be careful not to let any of these roles begin to define us in our thinking. They do not. They are temporary, yet very important. How we fulfill them will affect our eternal reward.

First and foremost our roles come from our gender. When a baby arrives in this world, or now when we get the ultrasound results, the key question is whether “it” is a boy or a girl. Then we can accurately label “it” a “he” or “she.”

We experience life through the filter of our gender.

No one can fully know what it is like to live as a member of the opposite sex, regardless of claims to the contrary. Infusions of sex hormones may alter some things, but our chromosomes cannot be changed. Gender is assigned by God and is a determining factor in our life experience.

The wise person embraces God’s gender choice for them.

Over a lifetime, we play many different roles, some which are gender-based and some which are not. We begin as children whose main responsibility is to obey our parents. Next we move into adolescence, when we begin to take on adult responsibilities and privileges, in addition to experiencing adult temptations. Adulthood provides us with many role options – husband, father, wife, mother, breadwinner, boss, employee, leader, follower, disciple, mentor, etc. None of these roles change our core identity.

Each role carries its own responsibilities and privileges. Each of us should attempt to excel at the roles God allows us to play in life. None are insignificant or unimportant to God.

One huge problem with role playing is when we start to think that our roles define us. When those “under” authority start thinking that those “over” them are superior to them, it strikes a blow at our identity. Unfortunately, those in authority often see themselves as actually being superior and communicate that directly or indirectly to those they oversee, thus denigrating and diminishing the perceived worth of those people. This is a serious violation of the authority role. Those in authority have the responsibility to serve and build up those under their care, as well as lead them.

Since I am a man, that is the focus of this series. Women cannot experience or partake of the roles God gives to men that are gender-based, just as women have roles that cannot be experienced by men.

Two unique male roles are being a husband and a father. Each of these roles has specific responsibilities and privileges, which is the theme of this series.

These roles, when properly played, constitute a very high calling, just as being a wife and mother do. I hope this series will help you to gain a greater appreciation for manhood and stir up us men with a determination to be faithful with what God has placed in our hands. Husband and fathers are given the role and responsibility of being the loving “head” of the wife and family, respectively. Wives and children are assigned the role of being under the benevolent headship or authority of the husband or father. It takes faith and humility to properly function in any of these roles.

As is obvious to most women, there may be nothing inherent in the man that makes him better qualified than the wife to be the head of the family. Sometimes wives have more wisdom, discerning, and leadership abilities than the husband God has placed over them. Unless the husband, in such a case, handles his headship with humility, wisdom, and grace, he may make it extremely difficult and unlikely that his wife will submit properly to him. Unless the wife understands her role and identity properly, she may find it next to impossible to follow the husband God has put in her life. We all must see that God is at work in all of these things and is bigger than we imagine.

It requires tremendous faith to be the head of a family or other organization or group, but perhaps it takes even more faith to be a follower. Husbands and fathers, especially those who are aware of their own deficiencies, may be reluctant to lead, but they must do so nevertheless. Failing to lead betrays our calling and the grace supplied to us by God. So, whether we are gifted leaders or reluctant ones, it is vital that we humbly accept the roles God gives to us. Our humility as leaders and heads can make it possible for others to develop fully under our care.

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Roles and Responsibilities Given to Men: Part 1 – Introduction

Introduction and Overview

We live in a time in which many minimize the God-given distinctions between men and women. Some even insist that gender is fluid and optional. The source of this dangerously flawed thinking is a deeply embedded rebellion and hatred against God.

Many people do not like how God made them and seek to overthrow his choice for them.

Without the change of heart and thinking that comes through Christ and because of our sin nature, people insist on governing their lives as they see fit, without reference to God or his ways. Even those of us who follow Christ must battle the destructive impulse to try to live independently from God. When we choose to submit to Christ’s lordship, the Holy Spirit begins to transform our thinking, which will result in a change in how we live.

The Spirit’s goal is to bring every area of our lives into alignment with God’s perfect order and will. Not only will this glorify God, but it will also maximize our fulfillment and happiness.

What does it mean to be a surrendered man? What are our unique privileges as men? What is the burden of our responsibility? This series will look at the two important roles God may give us – husband and father and the importance of leaving a positive legacy.

The New Resurrection Order

Christians live in a tension between that which was, already is, and that which is coming. Sometimes the lines blur between the last two, making life challenging to navigate.

When Jesus died on the cross, he put to death much of the old order of things and birthed a new resurrection reality.

Paul wrote:

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28 (NASB)

When Jesus died on the cross, the following aspects of the old order of things died with him.

  1. Racism – When Jesus the Jew died on the cross, God destroyed the inherent spiritual difference between the Jews and those outside the covenant promises. Jesus’ resurrection created “one new man” in Christ – the church. All forms of racism were dealt a death blow.  (Ephesians 2:15)
  2. Legalism – The Law’s power to point out our failures and condemn us was put to death on the cross. Jesus’ resurrection gave birth to a new age of living in the power of the Spirit. There is a fundamental difference between trying hard to please God and life in the Spirit.
  3. Religion and Ritual – Sacrifice, circumcision, Sabbath observance, and the Temple were rendered obsolete after the resurrection. Jesus fulfilled all of these shadows that pointed toward his life, crucifixion, resurrection, and lordship.
  4. Gender and Socio-Economic Distinctions – When Jesus rose from the dead, he put to death the old order of things which often focused on outward distinctions, such as race, gender, and social status. The ground is level at the foot of the cross.

In the new “resurrection reality,”  there is no longer male-female distinction in the Spirit.

A Dynamic Gender Tension

Jesus said that in heaven there will be no marriage because gender roles will be a thing of the past. (Matthew 22:30)

However, we now live in the dynamic tension between what is and what is to come. We live in bodies that are part of the old Adamic order of things, but we have born again spirits which are in union with God and the new resurrection reality. (1 Corinthians 6:17)

We are born into this world as either a male or a female. Our sexual identity affects us physically, emotionally, and in countless other ways. We are wired differently in our brains, have different muscular and skeletal structures, and have been given radically different functions in the reproductive process. To pretend that there are no essential differences is to be in willful denial. God separated Adam into male and female to illustrate that we need each other for completion. Together we are able more perfectly to reflect God’s image.

As Christians, we must navigate the challenging tension of the “already here – not yet” aspect of God’s kingdom. Spiritually there is no male or female, but naturally there is. How do we integrate the two?

Since God created us with the ability to interface with the natural and spiritual worlds, we are challenged to discover what aspects of each dimension have priority at the present time in a given situation.

In this natural world which we presently inhabit, we have God-given gender-specific roles. Only a man can be a father and a husband, despite the protests by the radical Left to the contrary.

To rebel against this creation order of things is to rebel against God himself.

However, to limit our understanding and application solely to the natural order of things is to miss out on some of the wonders of the resurrection and revert back to legalism.

God can take any aspect of the resurrection and apply it to our present natural reality any time he desires.

Before Christ’s resurrection, the only way to be included in God’s covenant with Abraham was to join the Jewish covenant community. This meant adhering to the Law with all its commandments and regulations. It also meant that every male had to be circumcised as an external sign of his covenant inclusion and commitment. Circumcision was uniquely male, of course, signifying that males had greater privilege and access to God. This was reinforced in the Law of Moses with regard to sanctuary access. Women were kept on the outside. Women were not regarded as reliable witnesses and not afforded the same educational opportunities as men. Their intrinsic worth was valued below men by the Law of Moses.

Jesus came to undo all these inequalities through his death and resurrection. The “one new man” created in him through his resurrection includes both male and female, slave and free, and Jew and Gentile. It blurs every distinction that formerly separated us. The church is the greatest of all melting pots.

At first, the early Christians assumed that the requirement of circumcision was still in effect. Why would it not be? It was clearly stated in the Scriptures. (Genesis 17:14)

It was shocking to Peter when he witnessed an uncircumcised Gentile named Cornelius begin to speak in tongues, proving that God filled him with the Holy Spirit. (Acts 11:15-18) Such an event demanded a revision of his practical theology. After all, our theology should be one that God follows!

Paul became the spokesman for this new theological understanding, which he clearly laid out in his Letter to the Romans. He explained that circumcision is no longer necessary under the new resurrection order of things called the New Covenant. Now what is required is faith in the finished work of Christ.

For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, it makes no difference to God whether we are circumcised or not circumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love. Galatians 5:6 (NLT)

Christ fulfilled the Law, thereby making it’s ritual aspects obsolete. True “circumcision” is now something spiritual that happens on the inside, in the heart, as a result of the new birth and the indwelling Spirit. (Philippians 3:3) For followers of Christ now to submit to outward circumcision as a means to obtain a right standing with God would be reverting to Old Covenant externals and legalism and would result in our “falling from grace.” (Galatians 5:1-4) New Covenant believers must stand on faith in Christ’s finished work or not stand at all.

What does this have to do with our topic? Not only is circumcision no longer critical in the resurrection reality that Christ introduced, but other things have changed as well. What about the distinction between men and women in God’s kingdom? Judaism offered women greater nobility and protection than other religions, but Jesus took things to a whole new level by including women in his band of disciples. He dignified women by first appearing to them after his resurrection, making them the very first to witness his resurrection glory. Women were also significant ministers in the early church.

How did Paul make the huge leap to go from including women in the band of disciples to saying there is “neither male nor female?” He saw the Spirit at work in women, just as he saw evidence of the Spirit’s work in the uncircumcised Cornelius. He also knew that there was an Old Testament antecedent. God raised up Deborah to lead Israel and command generals.

When we observe a present work of the Spirit that is corroborated by a biblical antecedent, we have the ability to declare a theology of resurrection reality. This is what Paul did regarding circumcision and regarding women.

But please do not assume at this point that I am throwing all teaching on male headship out the window. I am not. In this present male-female oriented natural world, we still have gender specific roles to play. Some of these roles are non-transferable. Others are more malleable. Hopefully this series of articles will help to shed some light on these things and help us to better understand and fulfill our gender specific roles in life.

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