In this life God has provided us with roles to play, some voluntary and others imposed.
All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
(Shakespeare, As You Like It)
We enter the world as dependent babies and may exit as dependent old folks. In between we might play many different roles. Most of us, at least traditionally, become either husbands or wives and mothers or fathers. Some of us may become bosses at work. More will become employees. Some will become military leaders, and others, soldiers under command. Some will become political leaders, perhaps a president, governor, senator, or congressman or congresswoman. Most of us will be citizens who have the privilege and responsibility of voting them in and out. All of us who live long enough will play the role of baby, child, student, teenager, young adult, and middle-aged adult. Many of us will eventually become seasoned citizens and grandparents, maybe even great grandparents!. Our roles in life come and go. They are all important, but none of them completely define us.
The role that comes closest in our natural lives to defining us as persons revolves around whose child we are. We inherit a great deal from our parents that goes into forming our personalities.
The only truly defining role in all of life, that, sadly, not everyone gets to experience, is “child of God.” From being God’s child we derive our core identity, which is an eternal reality. It is our greatest privilege and carries with it enormous responsibilities.
Born-again believers are first, foremost, and always God’s children. That will never change.
The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son does remain forever. John 8:35 (NASB95)
In fact, all born again followers of Christ can rightly claim to be “sons,” the whole lot of us – men, women, and children. This is because we find our true identity in Christ, and our relationship with Abba Father derives from Jesus’ relationship. He is the Son, and we are in Him; therefore, we are all sons, too.
Everyone’s proper and intended core identity is being God’s son.
See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for he allows us to be called his children, and we really are! But the people who belong to this world don’t know God, so they don’t understand that we are his children. 1 John 3:1 (NLT) Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” Galatians 4:6 (NASB)
Building out from this core identity, God gives us various roles to play over a lifetime. We must be careful not to let any of these other temporary roles interfere with our understanding of who we are at the core. Yet, at the same time, these temporary roles are very important. How we fulfill them can affect our eternal reward.
We have already established in the first article in this series that in Christ, that is in the present spiritual and future resurrection reality, there is neither male nor female. Nevertheless, in this physical life on earth, first and foremost our roles derive from our gender. When a baby arrives in this world, or now when we get the ultrasound results, the key question is whether “it” is a boy or a girl. Then we can accurately label “it” a “he” or “she.” The idea that gender is fluid and can be chosen at a later date is absurd. Gender is established by God and permeates our entire being down to the chromosomal level.
We all experience life through the filter of our gender.
No one can fully know what it is like to live as a member of the opposite sex, regardless of claims to the contrary. Infusions of sex hormones and surgeries may indeed alter some things, but our chromosomes cannot be changed. Gender is assigned by God and is a determining factor in our life experience.
A wise person embraces God’s gender choice for him or her.
Over a lifetime, we play many different roles, some which are gender-based and some which are not. We begin as children whose main responsibility is to obey our parents. Next we move into adolescence, when we begin to think more like and adult and take on some adult responsibilities and privileges, in addition to experiencing adult temptations. Adulthood provides us with many role options – husband, father, wife, mother, breadwinner, boss, employee, leader, follower, disciple, mentor, etc. But none of these roles change our core identity.
Each role carries its own responsibilities, privileges, and rewards. Each of us should attempt to excel at the roles God allows us to play in life. None are insignificant or unimportant to God.
One huge problem with role playing is if we start to think that our roles define us. When those “under” authority start thinking that those “over” them are superior to them, it strikes a blow at our true identity. Unfortunately, those in authority often see themselves as actually being superior and communicate that directly or indirectly to those they oversee, thus denigrating and diminishing the perceived worth of those people. This is a serious violation of the authority role. Those in authority have the responsibility to serve and build up those under their care, as well as lead them.
But it is not this way with you, but the one who is the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like the servant. Luke 22:26 (NASB95)
Since I am a man and understand masculine roles more than feminine ones, that is the focus of this series. Women cannot experience or partake of the roles God gives to men that are gender-based, just as women have roles that cannot be experienced by men.
Two unique potential male roles are being a husband and a father. Each of these has specific responsibilities, privileges, and rewards.
These roles, when properly carried out, constitute a very high calling, just as being a wife and mother do. I hope this series will help you to gain a greater appreciation for manhood and inspire men with a determination to be faithful with what God has placed in our hands. Husband and fathers are given the role and responsibility of being the loving “head” of the wife and family, respectively. Wives and children are assigned the role of being “under” the benevolent headship or authority of the husband or father.
It takes faith and humility to properly function in all of these roles.
As is obvious to most women, there may be nothing inherent in the man that makes him better qualified than the wife to be the head of the family. Sometimes wives have more wisdom, discerning, and natural leadership ability than the husband God has placed over them. Unless the husband, in such cases, operates in his headship with humility, wisdom, and grace, he may make it extremely difficult and unlikely that his wife will submit properly to him. Unless the wife understands her role and identity properly, she may find it next to impossible to follow the husband God has put in her life. We all must see that God is at work in all of these things and is bigger than we imagine.
It requires tremendous faith to be the head of a family or other organization or group, but perhaps it takes even more faith to be a follower.
Husbands and fathers, especially those who are aware of their own deficiencies, may be reluctant to lead, but they must do so nevertheless. Failing to lead betrays our calling and the grace supplied to us by God. So, whether we are gifted leaders or reluctant ones, it is vital that we humbly accept the roles God gives to us. Our humility as leaders and heads can make it possible for others to develop fully under our care.
