Following Jesus can be very difficult. Some find it so challenging that they turn their backs on the Lord and may even renounce their allegiance to him. Why would a person do this? The answer may surprise you. Sadly, history is littered with those who started well and ended poorly.

Solomon tells us that how we finish is perhaps a greater indicator of who we really are than how we begin.

Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Ecclesiastes 7:8 (ESV) 

Our Lord Jesus will one day return as the glorious Son of Man prophesied by Daniel to judge every person who has ever lived on the basis of his or her actions. What we do reveals what we believe and who we are.

We can fool people with our words, but what we do tells a truer tale.

And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one’s deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, 18  knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, 19  but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. 20  He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but was made manifest in the last times for the sake of you 21  who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God. 1 Peter 1:17-21 (ESV)  

Judgment according to our deeds neatly meshes with salvation by faith in Christ’s finished work on the cross and resurrection. The two are not antithetical, but are complementary.

If we are truly saved by our faith in what Christ did for us, we will remain loyal to him over a lifetime.

Faithfulness (allegiance) to Christ is an unmistakable earmark of those who truly know him. When our physical lives are completed and we stand before God, how we lived will be the final statement of what we truly believed.

Here are two important reasons someone may turn his or her back on Jesus.

Reason #1: I do not really know Jesus.

When our loyalty to Christ is tested, it reveals how deep is our allegiance to him.

Let’s take a look at such a case from the New Testament, an instance when many of Jesus’ followers decided to turn back. Our Lord had just announced to the crowd:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. 54  Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. 55  For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink.” John 6:53-55 (ESV)

I don’t know about you, but that sounds a little weird. Is Jesus teaching cannibalism? Who is this guy? That is exactly what many in the crowd were thinking. Why did Jesus use such a strange way to communicate the truth of our union with him? Was there a better way to teach this deep mystery of God? I doubt it. God always does what is necessary. Nevertheless, by couching this truth in a “difficult” saying, Jesus revealed the hearts of his followers.

God offends the mind to reveal the heart.

Faith resides in the heart. If all we have is mental assent to Jesus, life’s tests will uncover that insufficient foundation.

Those who have not believed from the heart will eventually stumble and fall away when their minds encounter something that offends them.

Many of his disciples said, “This is very hard to understand. How can anyone accept it?” 61  Jesus was aware that his disciples were complaining, so he said to them, “Does this offend you? 62  Then what will you think if you see the Son of Man ascend to heaven again? 63  The Spirit alone gives eternal life. Human effort accomplishes nothing. And the very words I have spoken to you are spirit and life. 64  But some of you do not believe me.” (For Jesus knew from the beginning which ones didn’t believe, and he knew who would betray him.) 65  Then he said, “That is why I said that people can’t come to me unless the Father gives them to me.” 66  At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him. 67  Then Jesus turned to the Twelve and asked, “Are you also going to leave?” 68  Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. 69  We believe, and we know you are the Holy One of God.” John 6:60-69 (NLT)  

We cannot follow Jesus unless we first come to him, and we will not come to him unless the Spirit of God draws us. (John 6:44) In other words, unless God opens our eyes to Jesus’ true identity, we cannot follow him. It’s too hard. Many try, but somewhere along the way something will be said or something will happen that will trip us up, influencing us to walk away.

None of us perfectly understand who Jesus is, but we do need to “see” as Peter saw that he is from God and in him is life. We must realize that he is someone great, God’s Son, who is worth following no matter what. This is what enabled Peter and the rest of the twelve to hang in there.

Reason #2: We do not understand or accept the cost of discipleship.

We may have begun our faith walk after having heard a version of the “gospel” which requires little or nothing of us. We live in a consumerist society, which has conditioned us to look for “good deals.” We have adopted a “What’s in it for me?” mindset, sometimes without realizing it, that influences how we view everything.

The consumerist “gospel” minimizes the cost of following Christ and maximizes the benefits.

The consumerist gospel focuses on heaven, eternal life, prosperity, and being happy. Who wouldn’t want that? But if that is what you think following Jesus is, you are certain to be disappointed. Jesus called his followers using the opposite message.

Jesus warned people up front that following him would cost them everything. (Luke 14:33)

In our opening passage, Jesus just told the crowd that they must eat his flesh and drink his blood in order to have life, which offended their sensibilities. When he saw that they were offended, he did not back down. He let his words stand, knowing that many would cease to follow him on that day. It was a test.

God arranges life to provide us with various tests that reveal what is inside us.

Many of these tests will be difficult, and it may be impossible for us to understand why God allows them.

Following Jesus requires us to give up the demand to understand everything up front.

We follow him regardless of how well we understand where we are going, what we are doing, or why this is happening.

Following Jesus means we give up control over our lives.

It means we relinquish the title to what we own. It means we make no demands from God. It means we serve where we are sent, without complaint or questioning. It means our new friends are fellow travelers on the same discipleship journey and may not be the people with whom we would normally associate. It is very much like being in the military, in that regard.

Alfred, Lord Tennyson wrote of this mentality in his famous Charge of the Light Brigade.

“Forward, the Light Brigade!”
Was there a man dismayed?
Not though the soldier knew
Someone had blundered.
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die.
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Some may view this act of unquestioning loyalty to be foolish, but the only foolishness was on the part of the commanders, not the men. The military is built on the loyal obedience of the soldiers who stake their lives on decisions made by very imperfect leaders. Followers of Christ are expected to trust their Lord just as fully, knowing that he may tell them to charge into the gates of hell. The big difference is that we know that our commander never errs and following his commands will result in eternal life and reward.

Following this military theme, Paul wrote:

Endure suffering along with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. 4 Soldiers don’t get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them. 2 Timothy 2:3-4 (NLT) 

Paul’s point is that we are to avoid conflicts of interest so that we will unhesitatingly obey the Lord. We who follow Christ are under the command of the Holy Spirit, whose voice we must learn to heed. Soldiers also know the rules of the military. We who follow Christ have the written words of God in the Bible, and make the commitment to prioritize them to the highest place in our lives. We believe they are true and authoritative. Followers of Christ do not make excuses for disobeying the Bible, nor do we minimize its authority, even when its message runs contrary to current popular beliefs of the culture or to our own sinful desires. Following Jesus means we prioritize obedience to him over family, friends, career, and personal convenience or ease. (Luke 14:26)

Following Jesus means we do not turn back when the cost of discipleship exceeds anything we were prepared to pay. Those who give up everything realize that God may indeed require everything. (Luke 14:27-30)

Christ does indeed give us abundant life. He blesses us beyond anything we might imagine, but he does not insulate us from suffering, through which we learn obedience. (Hebrews 5:8) Our obedience reveals if we are real disciples. (1 John 5:3)

So, what do I do if am currently struggling?

If you are contemplating turning back, ask yourself the following questions.

1. Do I really know who Jesus is? Am I convinced that he is worth following, no matter what? If not, my advice is to pray and seek God until he opens your eyes.
2. Have I counted the cost of being his disciple? Have I told him that all I am and have is his? Have I relinquished ownership of my life to him? Have I given up the right to direct my own affairs? Have I told him that I will suffer whatever he may require, as long as I can be his follower?

If not, now is the time to get make the commitment to be a disciple.

Prayer

Jesus, I am struggling. I realize that my allegiance to you has been less than it needs to be. Holy Spirit, open my eyes to the true identity of Jesus, so I will value him more and more, even above my own life. Right now, relying on the Holy Spirit and the grace you will give to me, I make the commitment to follow Jesus no matter what it may cost me and those I love. Remind me of this prayer when I want to turn back. Help me to let go of what is “mine” in order to fully receive what you have for me, which is far better. Come, Holy Spirit, live your life through me. Amen.