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Leaving a Legacy

A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, And the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous. Proverbs 13:22 (NASB)

The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children after them. Proverbs 20:7 (NLT)

We may have received a wonderful inheritance from our ancestors or they have left us much to overcome. Each of us starts our personal faith journey at a line set by our forefathers. That is one reason it is quite impossible to properly judge a life. Only God can do that.

Regardless of where we begin our life journey, we can and should devote our time here on earth to helping those who follow us to have an easier time of it. We can leave something godly and good for our own descendants. This is the generational aspect of salvation.

Knowing a little about our family history can help us to better grasp how we can move our family forward in God. My own genealogical research has produced some great information. I found godly men and women, about whom I knew nothing previously and from whom I am no doubt a benefactor of their passing down spiritual blessings to me and others. Not surprisingly, I also found the opposite, which helps me to know better how to pray and stand by faith.

Our family’s past influences us, but it need not define our lives or legacy.

Alcoholism was something very prevalent on both sides of my family tree, but my Dad and Mom responded to God’s grace and made decisions that almost completely broke that curse from wrapping itself around other family members. The same can be said for many others families who have their own heroes who stood up to longstanding family bondage and sin, making it far easier for those who follow.

Over the years as a pastor, I have worked with many whose family inheritance was atrocious – everything from criminal activity, abandonment, addiction, violence, and abuse of various kinds.

Men who come from these sorts of families and who attempt to be godly husbands and fathers, without ever having experienced or even seen positive examples, are at an extreme disadvantage.

If that is our own situation, what can be done?

When the Allies assaulted the beaches of Normandy on D-Day, many men in the first wave gave their lives to make it possible for future waves to have safe access to the landing areas. Someone had to do it, and they were chosen. Those who came later in the day benefited immensely from the sacrifices of their predecessors. Leaving a legacy of godliness can be like this. If we are working to undo generations of family devastation, we must realize that we will have to fight more for our gains than some others who inherited something far better from their ancestors. Do not compare yourself to others. Simply be the best battler and legacy maker you can be. You will only be able to make a certain amount of progress during your lifetime and must depend on your sons and daughters to carry the banner forward in their time. That’s how godly legacies are begun and passed down.

Every one of us is going to leave a legacy of some sort.

Did we love our wives and family? Did we serve God? Did we model what it means to be one of Christ’s disciples? Were we faithful? These are the things for which we want to be remembered. None of us wants to pass on laziness, passivity, defeat, and other forms of bondage to future generations.

We must ask ourselves, “What price am I willing to pay now to bless my children and grand children?”

That is between you and God, but whatever you and I decide and do will be felt by many, many others. Future generations may not know to whom they owe a debt of gratitude, but God knows, and so will you. Whatever the price, it will be well worth it.

Below are some of the ways we can leave a godly legacy. It is never too early to start, which is why I listed each stage of life. Spiritually speaking, you may be in the childhood stage, even though you are an adult.

The Childhood Stage – Building Strong Foundations

  • Study God’s Word with all your might. Even children can hunger to know more of God’s Word for themselves. When our children were small, we played cassette tapes for them on which characters sang the scriptures. It worked very well to instill the Bible into their hearts.
  • Learn to pray and make it a part of your life. True humility knows that it cannot do this thing called life without God’s help.
  • Be a worshiper and share your faith with others.
  • Exercise your faith. Don’t merely affirm doctrine. Trust God.
  • Aspire to live in true holiness and purity without becoming legalistic. Devote yourself to God’s purposes for your life. If you do not know what they are yet, keep seeking. We can always simply tell Jesus that we are his to direct and command.
  • Be accountable. Find a mentor (your father?) who will disciple you and encourage you to reach your spiritual goals.
  • Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal more of the Father’s love to you.
  • Be faithful in the small things. Serve those who are in leadership.
  • Be careful to stay properly related to the authority people in your life.

The Young Man Stage – Exercising Our Spiritual Muscles

  • Find true freedom by believing in the finished work of Christ and by learning to walk in the Spirit.
  • Learn to exercise the authority you have in Christ in sharing the Gospel, praying for people, engaging in spiritual warfare, and responding to faith challenges.
  • Be willing to take on new responsibilities. Let God stretch you by doing things outside your “comfort zone.” Refuse to limit yourself by what you think you can do. Trust God to help you accomplish great things.
  • Continue to be a man who is under authority while learning to lead.
  • Be faithful in whatever you do.
  • Act as a protector of others in prayer and in other ways.
  • Continue to be discipled while learning to disciple others.

The Fatherhood Stage – Building for the Future

  • Transition from primarily focusing on your own life and goals to helping others discover and fulfill their potential.
  • Invest heavily in the younger generation. Look for promising disciples and leaders and help them develop.
  • Pass the leadership or ministry baton when appropriate and allow your disciples to try their wings. They may naturally defer to you, which is good, but insist that they learn to operate as the lead person with you on the sidelines acting as cheerleader and coach. Act as friend, counselor, and supporter in your new role as Dad of adult children.
  • If your own children are grown and have left the nest, use your newfound freedom and excess time to expand your ministry horizons, which can also open up opportunities for those you mentor and lead.
  • Stay connected in accountable relationships.

Concluding Thoughts

Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. 4 Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing. Philippians 2:3-4 (NLT)
  • You will not always be in the picture. Make good use of your time.
  • God often saves the best for last.
  • Make it your aim to be faithful in every stage of life.
  • Prepare now to enjoy life and be fruitful in your latter years.

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Fathers Represent Abba to Their Children

As if accurately modeling Christ’s love to our wives were not daunting enough, men who have children are charged to be representatives of Father God, too.

Good fathers provide their children with a first and lasting idea of Abba’s character and love.

Jesus perfectly represented his Father to us, and we must do the best we can for our children.

Because of the poor job done by many human fathers, our heavenly Father has a public relations problem. I remember praying with one woman who had experienced terrible things at the hands of an abusive step-father. When she contemplated praying directly to Father God, it scared her. She had a very poor impression of a God who would allow such things to happen to her. That poisoned caricature of her loving Abba painted by a man who failed in his charge of properly representing Abba kept her from having a loving relationship with her Creator Father God for many years. Thankfully, Jesus set her free from all that, and she eventually came to trust her Abba. Conversely, when a father properly models Abba’s heart to his children, it gives them a tremendous advantage in life and in their knowledge of and relationship with God.

Knowing Abba is our greatest quest in life, and modeling Abba to our children is the greatest role in life.

If we succeed here, we have done what is most important. If we fail here, we will have transgressed in a major way and hurt a life incalculably. Below are some ways we can properly represent Abba to our children. But first, let’s meditate on the following passage from Ephesians.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15  from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16  that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18  may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19  and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19 (ESV)

 

Fathers lavish kindness and love on their children and delight in them.

The “Parable of the Prodigal Son” is a great example. Many think that story should be entitled “The Parable of the Prodigal Father” instead. To be prodigal means to spend lavishly or wastefully. We learn from this parable that…

Fathers are to lavish love and attention on their children, even when they do not respond in kind. In other words, it is unconditional.

If we did not receive this kind of love from our own dads, we must ask Abba to teach us how to give away to our children what we did not receive. Abba loved us even when we were his enemies.

In order to do this, we must first receive love from Abba, if we want to have something give away.

The worst thing we can do is to model to our children the idea that Father God is indifferent and distant from us. We must choose to properly present a father’s love so that children gain the idea that God wants them around and is vitally interested in the details of their lives. The proper word to describe all this is “delight.” One of the great revelations in life is when we find out that Abba actually likes us, as well as loves us. Children know when they are merely tolerated. When parents show more affection for one child than another, it communicates rejection. This was true in the case of Joseph and his brothers. They hated him for it, probably because it so wounded their hearts that they were not loved in the same way. Good earthly fathers delight in their children. Of course, we will not be able to do this for our children, if we have not come to understand that Abba delights in us. We can only give away what we have received. This puts a burden on every father to seek God for what we need to be for our children.

Abba spoke words of affirmation and delight over his Son.

But even as he spoke, a bright cloud came over them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy. Listen to him.” Matthew 17:5 (NLT)

Delight does more to affirm our children than perhaps anything else we can do for them.

Every child hopes and longs for his or her father’s approval. Do not withhold it. The withholding of delight is a powerfully negative form of covert rejection. Children know the difference between the words, “I love you,” and genuine delight.

Sometimes a father’s love is not returned, at least for a while, if his son or daughter is self-centered and determined to learn life’s lessons the hard way. Abba-like fathers will be there for their children when they finally come to their senses. Fathers who properly love their children will provide the kind of secure family atmosphere that God intends for all children.

Fathers bless their children and provide a secure and safe environment for growth and expression.

Earthly fathers, like shepherds, are charged with providing a safe and secure environment in which their children can grow and thrive.

The LORD is my shepherd; I have all that I need. 2  He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. Psalm 23:1-2 (NLT)

An important aspect of a father’s protection is shielding his children from undue criticism or rejection. Little children do not have adult abilities to discern what is true and what is opinion. Whatever a father tells his child will be believed when children are young.

If fathers speak words of affirmation and encouragement, it will build the child on the inside. Fathers who tear down their children with negative hurtful words impact those little lives for a lifetime in the wrong direction.

Children need to know they are protected from outside dangers and that the one they trust will never betray them. This is how ABBA is. It is how we fathers must be, too.

Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. James 1:17 (NLT)

Abba is the source of all blessings, and he designed things so that blessings flow from him through earthly fathers to their families, if everything is working as it should.

If an earthly father is serving the devil, demonic anti-blessings (curses) may be passed down.

Fathers need to realize that they are part of a long relay race coming down through the generations.

Every child inherits good and bad things from previous generations of fathers. Good decisions made by previous fathers often provide residual blessings for generations to come. Conversely sins and poor life decisions made by previous generations of fathers can negatively impact children, grandchildren, etc. We are not responsible for the sins of our ancestors, but we may reap the consequences of their sins. This called the law of sowing and reaping. (Galatians 6:7) Only Jesus can set us free from this vicious cycle. (If you want to read more about how this works, click here.)

One of the great things any father can do for his children is consciously and deliberately speak blessings aloud over them.

It may be done at a special blessing event when the child arrives at a milestone in life, such as a 16th birthday. It can and should be done informally on a continual basis. A father’s blessing carries great weight and goes a long way to insuring success. A father’s “curse,” hurtful words spoken in anger and spite, go into the heart and soul of the child, guaranteeing future problems, unless that child is set free by Jesus.

Good fathers carefully guard their words to their children, knowing that what they say shapes their lives.

Fathers teach their children how to be successful in life.

When children are small, they need love and watchful care. As they mature, they must be prepared for the coming day when they will be thrust into the world as self-governing adults, who will need to provide for their own families. Fathers are charged to teach their children a wide variety of life skills, including a love for the truth, a fear of God, a devotion to Jesus, love for family, loyalty to friends, obedience to authority, and faithfulness in performing responsibilities. Fathers have the ability to intuitively know in what areas each of their children have talent and can gently guide them into appropriate fields of work. Fathers should model how to be a good husband and father and teach their sons and daughters how to select a spouse.

Fathers discipline their children.

For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. Proverbs 3:12 (NLT)

Loving fathers discipline their children. The opposite is also true, disinterested fathers fail in this area. Discipline is difficult. It requires loving firmness and consistency. When parents get lazy, they tend to let their children get away with things until things reach a point that the parents get angry and react sometimes inappropriately harshly. Proper discipline is done with love and restraint with the ultimate good of the child in mind. We are preparing children for life, not simply trying to make things easy for ourselves as parents.

Fathers release their children into adulthood.

Godly fathers get more pleasure in seeing their sons and daughters excel than in succeeding themselves.

They are able to hand off the baton and get out of the way as soon as possible and advisable. Fathers want their children to grow up and be able to make wise decisions; so, they provide opportunities to make some choices while they still under their watchful supervision. While children are very small, they must be led with a strong hand, but as they grow older, parents must learn to give them room to develop, mature, and “spread their wings.” We should encourage our children that they are able to survive and thrive in the “adult” world.

If we succeed in adequately representing ABBA to our children and others we may mentor, we lay a foundation for their spiritual and practical growth that is incalculable.

If we misrepresent God in these areas, we can do enormous damage. Where there has been abuse or abandonment, children will need to overcome deeply embedded lies about who Abba is and what his attitude toward them is. Where there has been a failure to protect, children may have difficulty in trusting God. Where there has been criticism, children may fear expressing their true opinions and personalities or even attempting new things.

We dads have enormous shoes to fill, but God’s grace is sufficient.

It may be that you will need significant healing and breakthroughs in accepting God’s love and truth in your own life before you can be an effective father. If that is the case, please do not delay in getting the help you need. There is no sense in passing on our dysfunction to another generation. Perhaps the challenge of being a good father will be just the motivation you need to finally come to know your heavenly Father as he desires. It may well be the greatest thing to ever happen to you.

I am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning...  1 John 2:13 (NASB)

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Husbands Represent Christ to Their Wives

Two significant gender specific roles men may play over a lifetime are husband and father.

Both are so weighty and beyond our natural ability that we must rely on God’s help. If we get these right, we will be a huge blessing. If we fail, we will damage those we should be helping. First, we will look at how husband represent Christ to their wives.

The following passage written by Paul to the church in Ephesus is often used in pre-marital counseling, post-marital counseling, in the wedding service itself, and generally in teaching the responsibility of husbands to love their wives. Unfortunately, men often focus more on what Paul wrote to wives regarding obeying their husbands, instead of on what God says to us men.

Scripture was never meant to be used as a whip to beat others into submission. Rather, it is given to bring us to repentance and obedience ourselves. When men learn to love their wives properly, their wives will be encouraged to lovingly and biblically relate to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26  that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27  so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28  In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28 (ESV)

God has made us husbands responsible to love our wives as Christ loves the church. There could hardly be a more challenging and humbling role. Jesus called himself the Good Shepherd. Husbands are shepherds to their families, representing the Chief Shepherd in various ways.

We husbands are to model Christ to our wives and families in attitude, word, and deed.

We will only be able to get this right with the help of God’s Spirit. It is no small thing to be Christ’s representative in the home. We will greatly influence our wives and children either positively or negatively, depending how well we do this. God charges every husband with the duty of loving his wife sacrificially, providing for her, protecting her, teaching her, developing her, helping her, and giving her godly leadership.

Many young men come into marriage with a very selfish perspective, which is the opposite of Christ. Young men are selfish sexually and in their use of time and money. The wife is often more naturally nurturing and unselfish and can be deeply hurt by her young self-centered husband over and over again during these early years. Husbands are told to be gentle with their wives. Harshness undermines our role as Christ’s representative.

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)

God works in men through marriage to make us more other-centered and unselfish. This is part of our preparation for dynamic fatherhood. Let’s take a look at some specific aspects of our responsibilities as husbands.

Husbands model Christ’s unselfish love through serving.

Shepherds exist to care for the sheep. If you are a man who thinks that your wife and children are supposed to wait on you because you work so hard all day, you are a man who does not understand Christ’s relationship to the church. Jesus poured out his life for his followers – literally. He washed their feet. He suffered and died for them. Despite clearly understanding his role as Lord, he did not “lord it over” them.

Husbands should view themselves as the home’s chief servant. Our families learn Christ from us.

Sacrificially loving our wives means we put their needs and desires in front of our own, which is not easy for us to do. We are called to deny our own wants in order to bless her. This means we cannot do everything we want to do as young men. As Jesus put it: we are not here to serve ourselves, but others.

So Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. 43  But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, 44  and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. 45  For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:42-45 (NLT)

 

Husbands are providers.

As shepherds of their families, an important way that men serve their families is by providing for them.

Some men feel overwhelmed by this responsibility, but that is only because they have not learned that Abba Father is fully committed to provide for them.

As husbands and fathers grow in their relationship with Abba, it helps them properly represent Christ. In years past, men were expected to be the sole breadwinners. Today the husband and wife often share this burden, and in some cases the wife may be the primary earner. There is nothing inherently wrong with this set up. It may simply reflect the wife’s greater abilities and opportunities. It can go wrong, however, if the husband begins to think less of himself because of his wife’s success, or if the wife begins to despise her husband as a result. Regardless of who makes the most money for the family, the husband can never abdicate his responsibility carry the primary spiritual weight of being the provider. Nor is he allowed to slip into a despondent or passive attitude, thereby thrusting the weight of the role of provider onto the shoulders of his wife.

The LORD is my shepherd; I have all that I need. 2  He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. Psalm 23:1-2 (NLT)

 

Husbands are protectors of the family.

Shepherds protect their flocks from outside attack and from bullies inside the flock. This protection includes financial, spiritual, relational, and physical aspects.

Husbands are called to be the “point man” to confront the enemy, to stand in the gap for their families.

A husband who is introverted and less bold should never press his wife to do the hard and and uncomfortable things; so he can avoid his responsibilities. Any woman who does this for her husband becomes an enabler. The husband is supposed to take the initiative to ensure that the forces of darkness are kept at bay. He should close all known doors of temptation and demonic oppression through personal repentance and careful watching.

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. 5  You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Psalm 23:4-5 (NLT)
Husbands are teachers.

Many adults were never taught the great truths of the Bible or how to do even the simplest things by their parents. Husbands should take the lead in seeking the Lord with their wives and helping them grow in the Lord. We should be humble enough to draw upon whatever knowledge and wisdom our wives possess. Wives may come into the marriage far ahead of us in spiritual things, but this is no excuse for not taking responsibility. There is an “anointing” upon the husband to lead and teach. God will help us “catch up” if we are behind.

We cannot allow ourselves to be intimidated in spiritual matters. This puts a responsibility on husbands to study. Many men are lazy when it comes to spiritual things and, as a result, have little to offer, which is a great travesty and robs the wife and family of what God would have provided for them.

Husbands are leaders.

Leading does not mean that husbands get their way exclusively or have permission to “lord it over” their wives and children. It does mean that he must seek God and work with his wife to arrive at wise and godly decisions.

Even if a husband delegates some of the decision making to his wife, he is ultimately responsible before God.

Modeling leadership is one of the most effective ways to lead. The husband models what it means to be a servant leader. His wife and children benefit from the way he pours himself out in loving service to them.

He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. Psalm 23:2 (NLT)
Husbands are developers.

One of the goals of a godly husband is to help his wife become all God intends, thereby reaching her full potential. Wives were never intended to be passive doormats. They complement their husbands and often have tremendous callings and abilities that need to be developed and flourish. The amazing woman in Proverbs 31 is our model.

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Roles and Responsibilities Given to Men: Part 3 – Don’t Skip This!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before moving forward in our study of men’s gender-based roles, it is vital that we don’t skip the most basic role every born again child of God has while here on planet earth – being a disciple! Jesus said:

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” Matthew 4:19 (NIV)

Being a disciple means we follow Christ the person (via the Spirit), his teachings (the Scripture), and we embrace his mission (the Great Commission). This role springs from our core identity, but it is not eternal; since, in heaven we will know as we are known. At the present, we are learners (disciples).

Jesus’ method of discipleship was part teaching and part doing. He modeled the behaviors and ministry skills he wanted his followers to develop.

True discipleship must include active ministry, or we only have a Greek-style school. Being a disciple is not so much about filling our heads with knowledge as it is about developing our relationship with God and putting our faith into practice in ways that will glorify God and impact the people around us.

“Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:16 (NASB)

We shine as lights in the world by performing good deeds in Christ’s name and by sharing the Good News about the one true Light. Disciples model God’s love in order to help people get past their objections to the message of love, the gospel. Disciples learn to share the gospel effectively, minister in the power of God’s Spirit, and generally love on people. Disciples make a point of going to where lost and unchurched are, instead of expecting them to come to us. Disciples value and model Christian hospitality as a means to extend God’s kingdom. Disciples see their neighborhoods as their mission field and invest heavily in the people who live, work, and play around them. Fishers of men have many friends outside the church. How else will we reach them?

When Dads wholeheartedly devote themselves to the pursuit of God’s kingdom, they model for their children what it means to be a Christ follower. When Dad’s include their children in reaching out (fishing for men), it teaches them what is most most important.

I have observed that children of parents who are devoted to Christ in word and deed are more likely to adopt kingdom values and commitments than the children of nominal believers.

This is not rocket science. Kids notice what their parents love and serve, and, if there is love and respect, they will imitate them. What we do is more important than what we say, because kids see through shallowness and hypocrisy in adults. They will likely reject our words, if our lifestyle does not back them up.

We Dads cannot afford to be passive or lukewarm with regard to Christ, the gospel, discipleship, and mission. There is much more at stake than our own eternal reward. We must think generationally and realize that how we live will impact generations to come.

Most parents feel the tension between being on mission and raising a family. The solution is to include the family when you are on mission. Include them when you have friends and neighbors over. Take them when you go on any kind of outreach, including visiting neighbors. Children have a way of disarming people and opening their hearts.

Model what you hope to see develop in your kids.

Figure out ways to make routine family events and celebrations missional. Have people join you at family meals. Let your kids see you share the gospel and pray for people. Let them participate when you do acts of kindness for neighbors and friends.

Our children are our most important disciples. If we fail with them, our other successes will be rather hollow. We can only give away what we possess. We must give ourselves to being a disciple, if we hope to see the same in our children. Please don’t fail to prioritize this role or you may miss everything else.

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Embracing Our God-given Roles

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
(Shakespeare,  As You Like It)

We enter the world as dependent babies and often exit as dependent old folks. In between we play many roles. Most of us, at least traditionally, become either husbands or wives and mothers or fathers. Some of us may become bosses at work. More will become employees. Some will become military leaders. Others, military followers. Some will become political leaders, maybe a president, governor, senator, or congressman or woman. Most of us will be citizens who have the privilege and responsibility of voting them in and out. All of us who live long enough will play the role of baby, child, student, teenager, young adult, and middle-aged adult. Many of us will eventually become seasoned citizens and grandparents, maybe even great grandparents!. Our roles in life come and go. They are all important, but none of them truly define us.

The only truly defining role in life, that not everyone gets to experience unfortunately, is “child of God.” From that we derive our core identity.

Born again believers are first and foremost and always God’s children. That will never change. (John 8:35) In fact, all followers of Christ can rightly claim to be “sons,” the whole lot of us – men, women, and children. This is because we find our true identity in Christ, and our relationship with Abba Father is Jesus’ relationship. He is the Son, and we are in Him; therefore, we are all sons, too. Everyone’s core identity is being God’s son.

See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for he allows us to be called his children, and we really are! But the people who belong to this world don’t know God, so they don’t understand that we are his children. 1 John 3:1 (NLT)

Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!”  Galatians 4:6 (NASB)

Building out from this core identity, God gives us various roles to play over a lifetime. We must be careful not to let any of these roles begin to define us in our thinking. They do not. They are temporary, yet very important. How we fulfill them will affect our eternal reward.

First and foremost our roles come from our gender. When a baby arrives in this world, or now when we get the ultrasound results, the key question is whether “it” is a boy or a girl. Then we can accurately label “it” a “he” or “she.”

We experience life through the filter of our gender.

No one can fully know what it is like to live as a member of the opposite sex, regardless of claims to the contrary. Infusions of sex hormones may alter some things, but our chromosomes cannot be changed. Gender is assigned by God and is a determining factor in our life experience.

The wise person embraces God’s gender choice for them.

Over a lifetime, we play many different roles, some which are gender-based and some which are not. We begin as children whose main responsibility is to obey our parents. Next we move into adolescence, when we begin to take on adult responsibilities and privileges, in addition to experiencing adult temptations. Adulthood provides us with many role options – husband, father, wife, mother, breadwinner, boss, employee, leader, follower, disciple, mentor, etc. None of these roles change our core identity.

Each role carries its own responsibilities and privileges. Each of us should attempt to excel at the roles God allows us to play in life. None are insignificant or unimportant to God.

One huge problem with role playing is when we start to think that our roles define us. When those “under” authority start thinking that those “over” them are superior to them, it strikes a blow at our identity. Unfortunately, those in authority often see themselves as actually being superior and communicate that directly or indirectly to those they oversee, thus denigrating and diminishing the perceived worth of those people. This is a serious violation of the authority role. Those in authority have the responsibility to serve and build up those under their care, as well as lead them.

Since I am a man, that is the focus of this series. Women cannot experience or partake of the roles God gives to men that are gender-based, just as women have roles that cannot be experienced by men.

Two unique male roles are being a husband and a father. Each of these roles has specific responsibilities and privileges, which is the theme of this series.

These roles, when properly played, constitute a very high calling, just as being a wife and mother do. I hope this series will help you to gain a greater appreciation for manhood and stir up us men with a determination to be faithful with what God has placed in our hands. Husband and fathers are given the role and responsibility of being the loving “head” of the wife and family, respectively. Wives and children are assigned the role of being under the benevolent headship or authority of the husband or father. It takes faith and humility to properly function in any of these roles.

As is obvious to most women, there may be nothing inherent in the man that makes him better qualified than the wife to be the head of the family. Sometimes wives have more wisdom, discerning, and leadership abilities than the husband God has placed over them. Unless the husband, in such a case, handles his headship with humility, wisdom, and grace, he may make it extremely difficult and unlikely that his wife will submit properly to him. Unless the wife understands her role and identity properly, she may find it next to impossible to follow the husband God has put in her life. We all must see that God is at work in all of these things and is bigger than we imagine.

It requires tremendous faith to be the head of a family or other organization or group, but perhaps it takes even more faith to be a follower. Husbands and fathers, especially those who are aware of their own deficiencies, may be reluctant to lead, but they must do so nevertheless. Failing to lead betrays our calling and the grace supplied to us by God. So, whether we are gifted leaders or reluctant ones, it is vital that we humbly accept the roles God gives to us. Our humility as leaders and heads can make it possible for others to develop fully under our care.

Click here to access all articles in this series.

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Roles and Responsibilities Given to Men: Part 1 – Introduction

Introduction and Overview

We live in a time in which many minimize the God-given distinctions between men and women. Some even insist that gender is fluid and optional. The source of this dangerously flawed thinking is a deeply embedded rebellion and hatred against God.

Many people do not like how God made them and seek to overthrow his choice for them.

Without the change of heart and thinking that comes through Christ and because of our sin nature, people insist on governing their lives as they see fit, without reference to God or his ways. Even those of us who follow Christ must battle the destructive impulse to try to live independently from God. When we choose to submit to Christ’s lordship, the Holy Spirit begins to transform our thinking, which will result in a change in how we live.

The Spirit’s goal is to bring every area of our lives into alignment with God’s perfect order and will. Not only will this glorify God, but it will also maximize our fulfillment and happiness.

What does it mean to be a surrendered man? What are our unique privileges as men? What is the burden of our responsibility? This series will look at the two important roles God may give us – husband and father and the importance of leaving a positive legacy.

The New Resurrection Order

Christians live in a tension between that which was, already is, and that which is coming. Sometimes the lines blur between the last two, making life challenging to navigate.

When Jesus died on the cross, he put to death much of the old order of things and birthed a new resurrection reality.

Paul wrote:

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28 (NASB)

When Jesus died on the cross, the following aspects of the old order of things died with him.

  1. Racism – When Jesus the Jew died on the cross, God destroyed the inherent spiritual difference between the Jews and those outside the covenant promises. Jesus’ resurrection created “one new man” in Christ – the church. All forms of racism were dealt a death blow.  (Ephesians 2:15)
  2. Legalism – The Law’s power to point out our failures and condemn us was put to death on the cross. Jesus’ resurrection gave birth to a new age of living in the power of the Spirit. There is a fundamental difference between trying hard to please God and life in the Spirit.
  3. Religion and Ritual – Sacrifice, circumcision, Sabbath observance, and the Temple were rendered obsolete after the resurrection. Jesus fulfilled all of these shadows that pointed toward his life, crucifixion, resurrection, and lordship.
  4. Gender and Socio-Economic Distinctions – When Jesus rose from the dead, he put to death the old order of things which often focused on outward distinctions, such as race, gender, and social status. The ground is level at the foot of the cross.

In the new “resurrection reality,”  there is no longer male-female distinction in the Spirit.

A Dynamic Gender Tension

Jesus said that in heaven there will be no marriage because gender roles will be a thing of the past. (Matthew 22:30)

However, we now live in the dynamic tension between what is and what is to come. We live in bodies that are part of the old Adamic order of things, but we have born again spirits which are in union with God and the new resurrection reality. (1 Corinthians 6:17)

We are born into this world as either a male or a female. Our sexual identity affects us physically, emotionally, and in countless other ways. We are wired differently in our brains, have different muscular and skeletal structures, and have been given radically different functions in the reproductive process. To pretend that there are no essential differences is to be in willful denial. God separated Adam into male and female to illustrate that we need each other for completion. Together we are able more perfectly to reflect God’s image.

As Christians, we must navigate the challenging tension of the “already here – not yet” aspect of God’s kingdom. Spiritually there is no male or female, but naturally there is. How do we integrate the two?

Since God created us with the ability to interface with the natural and spiritual worlds, we are challenged to discover what aspects of each dimension have priority at the present time in a given situation.

In this natural world which we presently inhabit, we have God-given gender-specific roles. Only a man can be a father and a husband, despite the protests by the radical Left to the contrary.

To rebel against this creation order of things is to rebel against God himself.

However, to limit our understanding and application solely to the natural order of things is to miss out on some of the wonders of the resurrection and revert back to legalism.

God can take any aspect of the resurrection and apply it to our present natural reality any time he desires.

Before Christ’s resurrection, the only way to be included in God’s covenant with Abraham was to join the Jewish covenant community. This meant adhering to the Law with all its commandments and regulations. It also meant that every male had to be circumcised as an external sign of his covenant inclusion and commitment. Circumcision was uniquely male, of course, signifying that males had greater privilege and access to God. This was reinforced in the Law of Moses with regard to sanctuary access. Women were kept on the outside. Women were not regarded as reliable witnesses and not afforded the same educational opportunities as men. Their intrinsic worth was valued below men by the Law of Moses.

Jesus came to undo all these inequalities through his death and resurrection. The “one new man” created in him through his resurrection includes both male and female, slave and free, and Jew and Gentile. It blurs every distinction that formerly separated us. The church is the greatest of all melting pots.

At first, the early Christians assumed that the requirement of circumcision was still in effect. Why would it not be? It was clearly stated in the Scriptures. (Genesis 17:14)

It was shocking to Peter when he witnessed an uncircumcised Gentile named Cornelius begin to speak in tongues, proving that God filled him with the Holy Spirit. (Acts 11:15-18) Such an event demanded a revision of his practical theology. After all, our theology should be one that God follows!

Paul became the spokesman for this new theological understanding, which he clearly laid out in his Letter to the Romans. He explained that circumcision is no longer necessary under the new resurrection order of things called the New Covenant. Now what is required is faith in the finished work of Christ.

For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, it makes no difference to God whether we are circumcised or not circumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love. Galatians 5:6 (NLT)

Christ fulfilled the Law, thereby making it’s ritual aspects obsolete. True “circumcision” is now something spiritual that happens on the inside, in the heart, as a result of the new birth and the indwelling Spirit. (Philippians 3:3) For followers of Christ now to submit to outward circumcision as a means to obtain a right standing with God would be reverting to Old Covenant externals and legalism and would result in our “falling from grace.” (Galatians 5:1-4) New Covenant believers must stand on faith in Christ’s finished work or not stand at all.

What does this have to do with our topic? Not only is circumcision no longer critical in the resurrection reality that Christ introduced, but other things have changed as well. What about the distinction between men and women in God’s kingdom? Judaism offered women greater nobility and protection than other religions, but Jesus took things to a whole new level by including women in his band of disciples. He dignified women by first appearing to them after his resurrection, making them the very first to witness his resurrection glory. Women were also significant ministers in the early church.

How did Paul make the huge leap to go from including women in the band of disciples to saying there is “neither male nor female?” He saw the Spirit at work in women, just as he saw evidence of the Spirit’s work in the uncircumcised Cornelius. He also knew that there was an Old Testament antecedent. God raised up Deborah to lead Israel and command generals.

When we observe a present work of the Spirit that is corroborated by a biblical antecedent, we have the ability to declare a theology of resurrection reality. This is what Paul did regarding circumcision and regarding women.

But please do not assume at this point that I am throwing all teaching on male headship out the window. I am not. In this present male-female oriented natural world, we still have gender specific roles to play. Some of these roles are non-transferable. Others are more malleable. Hopefully this series of articles will help to shed some light on these things and help us to better understand and fulfill our gender specific roles in life.

Click here to access all articles in this series.

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Are We Developing Disciples or Coddling Immature People?

 

 

 

 

Without constant attention and steadfastness, pastoring a church can easily devolve into enabling codependent, lazy, and fearful churchgoers who want nothing to do with the Great Commission besides paying it lip service.

Jesus, the greatest shepherd of all time, taught his followers that a good shepherd would leave the flock in order to go after missing and lost sheep. This seems strange to many pastors, who make it their life mission to tend to every need of the already safe sheep. (Matthew 18:12-14)

If we think of pastoring as raising children, things will probably get clearer for us regarding our pastoral priorities.

One of the worst things parents can do is hover over their children in order to try to protect them from every danger imaginable, instead of allowing them to explore and learn on their own, under limited parental supervision. A derivative of this kind of unintended parental “abuse” is to do everything for the child, which sends the perhaps unintended message that the child is incompetent to manage life on his or her own.

Parents harm their children by doing for them what they can and should do for themselves.

Well-intentioned parents can hurt their children despite having the best of motives, if they fail to understand that their mission in child rearing is to produce responsible self-governing adults, not permanently dependent offspring.

Sometimes pastors adopt the same misguided strategies and make it their goal to keep people in a constant state of needing them.

Instead of training their church members to read, understand, and apply the Bible’s teachings for themselves and to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit for themselves, they want their people to rely on them for guidance and wisdom. Instead of equipping and teaching their people to take initiative in sharing the gospel with those who yet do not know the Lord, we may train them that the extent of their missionary responsibility is to bring people to church so that the pastor can do all the ministry. The list could go on. What are we trying to do? This is certainly not how to make disciples.

What if pastors taught their people that their main duty and occupation is to learn what they need to learn in order to leave “the 99” to go after those who are lost or straying? How would our churches be different if pastors prioritized preparing their people to be active disciple makers instead of passive churchgoers? Would it cause our churches to lose members, or would it infuse them with new life and vigor? Probably both. The ones who want nothing to do with growing up into spiritual adulthood will be able to find other pastors who will coddle them, but the ones who relish the challenge of being a disciple who makes disciples will be very grateful.

We cannot make it our top priority to gain members, if we embrace making disciples. Instead our goal is to prepare and send out Great Co-missionaries.

Missional pastoring will lead us to nurture, equip, motivate, and launch people into their communities to go and make disciples. Our programs and priorities should be reevaluated regarding how they help make and send disciples. Our people should be told that our goal is to help them grow up to spiritual maturity, which is the work of missional pastoring.

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Developing Missional Churches – Part 3: Using the Equipping Model for Mission

 

 

 

 

In the first article in this series entitled Developing Missional Churches, I looked at some tensions that challenge our attempt to fulfill our God-given mission. The first is the tension between attracting consumerist church shoppers to meetings and making disciples. For those churches which choose to be missional, a second tension involves choosing between using the attractional model to win people to Christ or using the equipping model to train people to do ministry themselves. In my second article, I examined how some missional churches use the attractional model to effectively preach the gospel to large numbers of seekers. This article looks at how the equipping model can be employed to make disciple-making disciples.

Leadership Goals of Equipping Churches

I have already established that Jesus charged the church to be missional when he gave us the Great Commission. Mission includes going, preaching, teaching or equipping, and launching. Whereas missional-attractional churches often are very successful at presenting the gospel to those who are drawn to their services, with many surrendering their lives to Christ, they may struggle to produce disciples who can minister in their own right. This is why the equipping model is needed.

The above continuum places attractional churches on one end and equipping churches on the other. Of course, real life churches are going to be somewhere in between. My continuum places what I call a “hybrid network” in the middle. I will talk about that later. Pure equipping churches do not employ attractional techniques or strategies. In fact, Hugh Halter, pastor of Adullam in Denver, sometimes deliberately makes his services less than perfect just to remind people that we do not go to church to be entertained. At LifeNet, we never have to try to do that. It comes naturally.

Equipping churches seek to develop disciples by giving them adequate Bible knowledge and competent ministry skills and launching them into the community to do the work of ministry.

And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, 12  for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; Ephesians 4:11-12 (NASB)

Instead of adopting a strategy to invite people to church meetings to hear the gospel from a main speaker, equipping churches develop disciples who are competent to share the gospel themselves outside the four walls of the church.

Leadership Strategies of Equipping Churches

Leaders of equipping churches necessarily will be missional, and they also must be committed to training. This is the biggest difference in leadership strategy. Instead of maximizing their own pulpit time, they will seek to step aside to make room for their disciples.

This means equipping churches are willing to put less polished speakers and worship leaders in the forefront in order to develop them. This runs counter to the accepted attractional strategy, which always puts the best of the best in front of the crowd.

Think “teaching hospital” when you think of the equipping church. Think rock concert when you conceptualize the attractional model.

Equipping churches can be led by any of the “five-fold” ministry, but missionally-minded teachers always will have a large role to play.

Equipping churches do not rely simply on classroom or lecture style teaching. Instead, they use Jesus’ method, which blends instruction with demonstration and application.

This means their disciples will be able to effectively share the gospel, pray for the sick, cast out demons, counsel, and do other facets of ministry. The doing is part of the learning. Until the disciple does, he or she is not a disciple. Unless churches develop a way for people to have “hands on” opportunities to practice their ministry skills under supervision, equipping will not take place. Obviously, listening to a talking head for an hour each Sunday will never accomplish this. Equipping church meetings are designed to maximize disciple making. The small group setting is ideal; although, it is quite possible to break a large church down into small discussion groups on the fly. In order to facilitate the application of teaching, ministry opportunities must be created, ideally outside of the church meeting. All sorts of creative options are available, everything from door-to-door visitation to men’s nights out, to starting or joining some sort of affinity group or club.

A necessary part of equipping and launching disciples is decentralization.

Nothing bottlenecks ministry as much as forcing all decision making through a top-level choke point. Equipping churches expect to produce mature ministers who have the wisdom and courage to be spiritual “entrepreneurs.” Just as natural dads release their sons and daughters to establish their own families, equipping churches adopt a strategy of equip and release. For this to work ideally, launched disciples will maintain a healthy relationship with their mentors and launching churches, having the same values, mission, and strategies.

Integrating the Attractional and Equipping Models

Neither the attractional nor the equipping model is perfect. Both have strengths and weaknesses that can be complemented by the other. In his book, AND – The Gathered and Scattered Church, Hugh Halter advocates creating a hybrid church that incorporates elements of both. (You can read my summary here.) Having pastored both types of churches, I am intrigued with the possibility of integrating the two into one “mean, lean missional machine.”

Larger attractional model churches usually have nice facilities, established programs for youth and other sub-groups, and resources. Equipping churches, especially the small group variety, may have none of the above, but be rich with missional vision and committed people. The blending of the two can provide pastoral stability (modality) with missional passion (sodality).

Such a hybrid makes room for people who may not be willing to go the more radical missional route of the equipping church, but who support it. It also provides programs and resources not otherwise available to smaller equipping churches.

Such hybrids will necessarily be led by those who see the need for both expressions of the church.

The leadership team will need to make room for the more fluid expression of missional sodality within the protective covering of the modality, the larger “mother” church. Disciples and leaders that come out of the equipping ministry of the hybrid church, can be plugged into the various small groups as leaders or be encouraged to start their own through evangelization.

Hybrid missional churches will be able to conduct schools of ministry for training and equipping future leaders. This training will include hands on mentoring in the doing of ministry.

Hybrid leaders will need to resist the desire to “rein in” the more sodalic expression of the church, and sodalic leaders will need to properly relate to the modalic church. This will have to be worked out over time, but the possibilities for mission are huge and probably worth the effort.

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Developing Missional Churches – Part 2: Using the Attractional Model for Mission

 

 

 

 

The church was created for mission, namely the Great Commission, which requires the church to…

  • Go – There is an apostolic mandate on the entire church to take the Gospel to the ends of the earth.
  • Make Disciples – Disciples are followers of Christ who obey his teachings, his Spirit, and the Great Commission.
  • Teach them to obey – Disciples must train their disciples to do as they do.

Missional churches embrace the Great Commission and focus their resources and energy toward that end.

We live in a culture that has been warped by consumerism and has produced a church “clientele” that begs to be entertained. Recognizing and capitalizing upon this bent, attractional churches use their resources to provide the most attractive church services possible in order to gather the largest following. In this article, I assume their motivation is to advance the kingdom of God.

Ingeniously many very large churches use the attractional model missionally as a platform for preaching to seekers. I call these missional-attractional churches.

Many people are being drawn to these churches and are responding to the Gospel, and many of these churches take spiritual development and growth seriously. These churches are most likely led by apostles, evangelists, or missional pastors.

The Missional – Attractional Leader

Anyone who is an Ephesians 4:11 “five-fold” or “ascension gift” minister / leader (apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor, or teacher) may be primarily pastoral or missional. Every true apostle will impart an apostolic (sent or missional) mindset to the churches they oversee, making them apostolic in their own right. By looking at Paul’s and Peter’s apostolic ministries, we also observe a strong pastoral element.

Apostolic churches will take care of their own people while maintaining an outward thrust of evangelism and discipleship of new converts.

Evangelists are by nature missional. Prophets and teachers may be either. Pastoral leaders naturally focus on the well-being of the sheep under their care and can easily be consumed with doing so, at the expense of the Great Commission. However, Jesus advocated missional pastoring in his parable about the one lost sheep.

So he told them this parable: 4  “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? 5  And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6  And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’ 7  Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance. Luke 15:3-7 (ESV)

The Christlike missional pastor never loses sight of the lost, and even prioritizes his ministry toward them, but his work with those outside the church will always have a pastoral touch to it. Jesus exhorted his followers to pray for more shepherds to be sent out into the harvest.

And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. 36  When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37  Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; 38  therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” Matthew 9:35-38 (ESV)

These laborers by context are clearly shepherds. Hurting people cry out for caring individuals to wade into their world of sorrow and pain, bringing pastoral grace and ministry with them.

Caring for lost sheep is just as pastoral as taking care of the church.

Missional churches can be led by any form of the five-fold ministry, as long as mission is prioritized. But if only the core leaders are missionally minded or if the church’s ministry focuses on the use of the gifts and abilities of a select few, is that really being true to the Great Commission? Attractional churches that focus on winning the lost by effectively leveraging their resources and the talent of a few may win a lot of people to Christ, yet miss the mark when it comes to developing disciples who make disciples. We are seeing today what happens when attractional churches succeed in gathering lots of people who are not committed disciples. The center cannot hold in those churches. Either the people will leave or the leadership will cave to the soulish demands of their clientele.

There is a difference between serving the Great Commission by marshaling members to support the local church’s Sunday services and serving the Great Commission by equipping and launching all the members of the church into the harvest field as ministers in their own right.

Although I admire the effectiveness of attractional churches in drawing the lost, I still question their effectiveness in discipling them. The Great Commission is not to win the lost: it is to make disciples of the lost, which requires equipping. Equipping churches will be the subject of my next article. I hope you will continue on this journey with me.

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Developing Missional Churches – Part 1: Tensions

 

 

 

 

Developing missional churches is one of the great challenges facing modern church leaders who live in a consumerist world system.

By missional I mean prioritizing the pursuit of the Great Commission, Jesus’ marching orders to the church. This article will address two of the major obstacles to achieving this missional goal.

Tension #1: Attractional vs. Equipping

In the United States, we live in a pronounced consumer culture, in which people are trained from an early age to view life from a “what’s in it for me” vantage point.

This consumerist mindset has infected the church, too, resulting in many people having rather shallow reasons for attending or not attending a local church.

The culture has molded our people to look for a church that provides the most return on their investment, which is often measured by how a particular church blesses them personally. Unfortunately, because we are mostly selfish in our orientation, we gravitate toward those churches that are attractive, comfortable, and impressive. To put it another way, people will “shop” churches to find the one that offers the best programs, facilities, worship experience, preaching, and other benefits, such as being a place to network with other successful people in the area. Not surprisingly such a search often leads consumer Christians to the biggest and most successful churches in the area. This is to be expected because the church growth movement that began in the 1980s taught leaders how to market their churches to the masses. This leads us to a very important point that has proved to be a disaster in many cases.

Churches that want to attract Christian consumers must choose to provide the things for which people are shopping.

Consumers need to be attracted, which has led to the development of the attractional model of doing church. This way of operating tries to present the very best Sunday service possible in order to attract the largest number of seekers and church shoppers, as well as provide a great experience for its members in order to retain them. The disastrous aspect of this model is that many leaders have compromised the gospel to “keep ’em coming.”

In stark contrast, Jesus taught his disciples that they must be willing to lose everything for his sake, which is a direct attack on consumerism.

So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:33 (ESV)

The opposite of the consumerist church is the disciple making church, which prioritizes training and equipping its members to do the work of the ministry.

Comparing attractional churches to equipping churches is like contrasting going to a concert with going to school. It’s pretty easy to guess which one most people will choose. Disciple making churches cannot be consumer oriented by definition. The two ways of doing things are diametrically opposed.

Strong disciples are built through teaching them self-denial for the sake of the mission, which will alienate consumers, whose purpose in life is to consume blessings for themselves.

What draws consumers will pull disciples off track.

Leaders who wish to prioritize the Great Commission will have to face the giant of consumerism and choose to turn their backs on its allure in order to make disciples.

Tension #2: Modalic vs. Sodalic

A writer named Rob Yule, from New Zealand, wrote: “A modality is the static or geographical form of the church, the church as a local or regional community. A sodality is the mobile or missional form of the church…” Another, perhaps, better way to conceive of the difference is that modality is a function of the pastoral ministry of the church to its own people; whereas, sodality is its outward (missional or apostolic) thrust toward those who do not yet know Christ. This second definition is how I use the two words in this article.

Church leaders, because of calling, gifting, training, and/or personality, usually emphasize either modality or sodality in their ministry. These two ways of seeing and practicing church seem to be in opposition to each other, creating some tension in the church world.

Jesus launched a worldwide missionary organization called the church, whose marching orders are found in the Great Commission.

And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19  "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20  teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:18-20 (NASB)

He promised his disciples that the gates of hell would not be able to withstand its missionary advances. (Matthew 16:18) The preaching of the Gospel turned the world upside down in a very short time, as bands of early disciples, often led by apostolic (sent) ministers, went forth with the sole objective of preaching the good news of Christ’s resurrection and lordship and establishing churches whenever groups of disciples responded to the message.

But just as a conquering army must organize and consolidate its gains, the church found that tending its new converts tended to be a full-time occupation.

The Apostle Paul probably spent more time tending the newly formed churches than he did in active evangelization of unreached people. Nevertheless, he never lost his zeal for and commitment for taking the Gospel to unreached areas. (Romans 15:20) He used established churches as bases from which to launch and sustain his ongoing missionary endeavors. (Romans 15:24) In terms of a conquering military army, churches can be viewed as outposts from which greater advances can be made while maintaining conquered areas.

Both the pastoral (modalic) and the apostolic (sodalic) callings are fairly all-consuming. Paul was one of the few, it seems, who was able to keep both front and center in his life.

It is my belief that true apostles have this calling and ability. They are essentially missionaries who care deeply for and maintain a pastoral relationship of some nature with the churches they help start.

Unfortunately, however, many churches are led by pastors who may unintentionally stray from the Great Commission and settle for being modalic self-absorbed institutions. This is because it is difficult to maintain both sides of the equation – mission and pastoring.

The tension between the pastoral and apostolic calling is a second challenge in developing missional churches.

Most church leaders I know are in favor of reaching out with the Gospel to those who still do not know Christ, but fewer feel the need to devote their resources and energy toward motivating, equipping, and launching their members into the harvest field. Those who have prioritized mission are divided between using an attractional model or employing the equipping model. Which is better at making disciples? Which is better at bringing in new converts?

Two questions will be addressed in the following articles in this series.

  • Should church leaders equip the entire church (modality) to become members of a Great Commission harvest team, or should the Great Commission be delegated to specialized sub-groups (sodalities) in the church?
  • Should churches rely on drawing people to evangelist-led attractional meetings or focus on equipping average followers of Christ to competently penetrate their neighborhoods and relational groups with the gospel in order to make disciples?

I hope you will stay with me as I look at these two questions in the next two articles.

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