Shakespeare penned this memorable words:
All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts… (As You Like It – Act 2, Scene 7)
The author of a play creates the characters and plot, scripts the lines, and decides how it begins and ends. The director decides who plays what role and tells them to some degree how to act. Those who play the roles must be willing to act according to how the play was written under the oversight of the director. If they play the role well, the observer might even conclude that they are actually that person in real life, but they would be wrong. The role is quite different from the true identity of the actor or actress, but there may be some overlap. The success of the play largely depends on how well the actors play their roles. Those who are great at role playing may become quite wealthy.
Life is like that. God wrote and directs the “play,” created the set (the world) and the characters (us), and assigned everyone roles to play. How willingly and well we accept our God-given roles in life will greatly influence our success here, during our short stay on planet earth. It will also determine in large measure our eternal reward. But just as with a play or movie, the role we play does not define our true identity. It’s just a temporary role.
Roles Do Not Define Us
What defines us? Our gender? Age? Politics? Religious beliefs? Our position (role) in government, at work, at church, or in the home? All of this contributes to an overall picture of who we are as individuals, but none of these things truly define us.
At our core, we are spiritual beings, who can only be defined by God, since he is our Creator, and, hopefully for you and me, our Redeemer.
God breathed spirit into Adam’s body, and he became a living soul. (Genesis 2:7) Our bodies are what people see, our souls or personalities are what we present to other people as the real “us,” but God knows us at a still deeper level in the spirit.
For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 1 Corinthians 2:11 (ESV)
When Jesus rose from the dead, he ushered in a new reality, which becomes our reality, at least in seed form, when we are “born again” by the Spirit of God. Our true identity becomes linked to Christ as a result of our being joined or “one” with him.
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 (ESV)
Believers in Christ are not defined by their sins, defects, failures, or past. They are identified with the new resurrection reality called the “new creation.” (2 Corinthians 5:16-17) At the resurrection of the dead, when we fully experience this new reality, things that now tend to define and separate us from each other will be obliterated, as Paul so eloquently wrote long ago.
For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. 27 For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's descendants, heirs according to promise. Galatians 3:26-29 (NASB)
Let’s Get Practical
Nevertheless, we still live in a world that has not yet fully come into this resurrection reality; although we can experience it in part. There are still Jewish people and Gentiles, slaves and free in some areas of the world (bosses and employees where we live), and male and female. As much as many moderns wish to obliterate gender differences, they still are very much part of everyday life and reality, down to the chromosomal level.
Our resurrection reality is in the spirit, but we still live in a fallen world, where body and soul differences are extremely important and consequential. Even those who are born again and are new spiritual creations must navigate a world and relationships in which outer distinctions greatly affect us.
Men and women have very different bodies with unique functions and abilities. Only a woman can conceive, carry, and give birth to a child. Only a man can be a father. Like it or not, our gender somewhat defines our roles in life, at least when it comes to having children and those things that requires great physical strength.
Gender specific roles are similar to parts in a play. The better we play our assigned role, the more faithful we will reflect the author’s intent. The roles God has given us in life do not define us at a core level, but we must play the part God assigned us.
These roles in marriage are, for the man, headship, and, for the woman, submission. Don’t be scared off by these two words. I believe I will be able to show you why these two roles can be beautifully beneficial, fulfilling, and God glorifying, as long as we understand they are only temporary roles.
Why Our God-given Roles Are Abused and Resented
To understand the fundamental problem many people have with headship and submission, we must go back to the beginning. When Adam and Eve were tempted in the Garden of Eden, the devil accused God of not having their best interests at heart when he forbade them from eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Ever since, humanity tends to distrust God and rebel against his commands. It brought death and destruction then. Why would we think ignoring or disobeying his commands will produce a better result today?
When humanity plunged off the cliff into self-directing our lives instead of relying upon God to do it, our personalities, society, culture, and even the rest of the creation were distorted from God’s original design and intent. God created husbands to lead and operate in a servant form of headship, but that has been twisted into selfishly motivated domination. Wives were created to come alongside their husbands as complementary companions, under the husband’s loving and benevolent headship, but because of his selfishness or, in some cases, abandonment of his leadership responsibilities, wives have become distrustful, bitter, and rebellious against their husbands’ leadership. In addition, women are sinfully and rebelliously disinclined to follow their husbands, even when they to do things God’s way. What a mess!
But God has a better plan. He wants husbands and wives to accept his marriage plan, follow the Bible’s teachings, and allow the Holy Spirit to do his “inside job” in our lives, so that our marriages can reflect his benevolent intent.
God wants us to be role players, not the director of the play.
The next two articles will develop this idea from the perspectives of the husband and the wife.
