Most of us think of counseling as belonging to the realm of trained professionals and church leaders, not a ministry to be done by the average disciple. But what does the Word of God say?
And concerning you, my brethren, I myself also am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able also to admonish one another. Romans 15:14 (NASB95)
The Greek word that is translated “admonish” is noutheteo, which means to admonish, exhort, or give instruction. While it is true that some people have deep problems that those who have experience and training can best help, the average disciple who has the Holy Spirit inside them and who has studied the Bible has the ability and responsibility to counsel others.
We all need periodic input from others in order to maintain an “even keel” in life. God made us to be dependent on him and interdependent on one another.
Most problems, including relational, financial, and marriage issues, can be solved by applying general life principles found in the Bible.
In other words, the key to a happy and fulfilled life is following Christ’s teachings with the help of the Holy Spirit. For example, marriage problems usually arise when one or both partners violate Christ’s teachings. Marriages are always better when both spouses seriously seek to live as true disciples.
All followers of Christ who apply themselves to the study of God’s Word and listen to the Holy Spirit are able to guide and advise others.
All disciples are competent to counsel, to admonish, and to instruct at some level.
We are confident of all this because of our great trust in God through Christ. 5 It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God. 2 Corinthians 3:4-5 (NLT)
Some of better at it than others, but all disciples can and should do it.
The most important counselors in the world are parents. They have the responsibility to disciple their children from birth forward to fear of God, follow Christ, love of people, and live responsibly as adults. During the child rearing process, parents are responsible to address and correct sinful and foolish behavior and teach their children principles for holy and wise living. If we do a good job, our children will acquire spiritual insight and practical skills that will help them be successful adults. Parents are able to use daily events and situations to instruct their offspring what it means to fear and serve the Lord and love and respect other people. No other counseling is so pervasive or as important as parenting.
If we expect the average follower of Christ to be able to parent, surely we are also competent to counsel one another in most things.
The best counselors seek to teach people how to go to God and the Bible for their answers. The goal of parenting is for children eventually to mature to the point where they do not need continual input from their parents. Because many people are lazy or insecure, they either do not want to go to the trouble to seek the Lord and read the Bible for themselves or they do not have confidence in their ability to make sound judgments.
Rather than simply tell people what to do or not to do, if we are going to help them grow, we should ask them to first go to God and the Bible for an answer.
We can then act as a “sounding board” for them, either confirming what they heard from God or showing them how they are mistaken. This way of doing things propels them into maturity and increases their confidence that they can make sound decisions with God’s help.
Just as a physician who is a good general practitioner knows when to refer a patient to a specialist, we must realize when people have problems that exceed our wisdom, experience, or faith level. For example, if a marriage is falling apart, the pastor or elders in a church should be consulted. If spouses are just struggling a bit, another believer or couple may be well able to handle it. If there are deeper and more serious mental, physical, or spiritual issues, It would be wise to consult church leadership. There is no shame in admitting we either do not know what to do or realize a particular situation is more properly in another person’s domain. We certainly do not want to compound problems by trying to help when we do not really know how.
The more that average disciples are willing to accept the responsibility for inputting in to other disciples’ lives, the healthier will be the body of Christ.
Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. 15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. 16 He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love. Ephesians 4:14-16 (NLT)
Disciple-making churches teach and equip their people to be competent counselors.
