Disillusionment is sometimes associated with betrayal. At other times it is connected with naivete. Whatever the immediate reason for our disillusionment, somewhere we had expectations that were dashed.

Humorous (for us, but painful for them) examples of disillusionment can be seen on old episodes of auditions for the TV show, American Idol. (Note the title, which itself is an illusion.) Every season people who thought they were great singers were unceremoniously told that they could not sing by the judges. Someone had led these contestants to believe that they had great voices, and they believed it. They suffered under the illusion that they were wonderful, when they were actually awful. The judges disillusioned them. They were forced to face the truth about their singing ability. Many of them became angry and lashed out at the judges, declaring they did not know what they were doing. It was funny in one way, but tragic in another. In the last analysis, it was very necessary. Now they could get on with their lives rather than waste their time in the pursuit of a fantasy.

Most of us serve illusions of one sort or another, about ourselves, others, marriage, work, God…  While counseling young couples who are preparing for marriage, I usually tell them that the man hopes his wife to be will never change, but the woman hopes to change her man. They both likely will be disappointed, or disillusioned. We try to put our best foot forward during the dating or courting process. After we tie the knot, we tend to relax into our “normal” way of doing things, which may be a surprise to the spouse. Sometimes young couples go into a marriage expecting that their spouses will be responsible for certain things, as they saw modeled in the home in which they grew up. I often ask the couple during counseling, “Who will clean the bathroom?” “Who will handle the finances?” “Who will wash the dishes?” “Who will do the cooking?” Where will you spend Christmas? Thanksgiving? Do you want children? How many? You get the point. These are things to talk about ahead of marriage to avoid unwelcome surprises.

We all tend to be deceptive and become deceived. Women wear make up to create an illusion of beauty that is not naturally there. We all tend to “put our best foot forward” in order to help (deceive?) people to like or accept us. But if we get people to like the illusion we project, do they really like us? We are afraid they will not like the real us, so we become hypocrites of the best (worst?) sort. I have always said that true friends know what we are really like, but love us anyway. What a relief to let go of pretenses! It is delightful to meet and relate to truly honest people, even if it makes us a little uncomfortable.

Many, if not all, of us, have illusions about God. It is popular today to imagine that God is all love – that he would never condemn anyone to hell. But that is not the God of the Bible, is it? When God revealed himself to Moses, he told him that his name is “I Am Who I Am.” Not “I Am Who You Want Me to Be.” This is very important, because, if we serve our illusion of God but not the real God, are we not idolators? Jesus is the Truth, not an illusion created by us to match what we want God to be. A big part of life, especially for the disciple, is coming to terms with who God really is and surrendering completely to him.

Many disciples have illusions about ministry, too. We receive a “call” from God to serve him, but we often imagine what that will look like based on what we have seen others do. We may end up pursuing God’s real call on our lives or our imagination of what that should be. As you have already guessed, if we pursue an illusion, eventually we will become disillusioned.

I remember when we first launched what was then called Liberty Church here in Burlington, NC, I had my five and ten year plans. I had been taught to treat the church somewhat like a business in that regard. (We did not start that way, but over time as the home church in Greensboro grew, we resorted to worldly ideas. That was serving an illusion for sure because the church is not a business.) I had the illusion that we would quickly grow to the 400 number and would need a building to accommodate that crowd. Thirty-four years later I now realize that in reality I have grace to be a small church pastor because that is what I have always been.

Whatever grace is upon our lives will produce fruit in keeping with that grace, not in keeping with some illusion we have.

I am much happier now just being who God created and gifted me to be, instead of reaching for an illusion that was always just beyond my grasp.

Illusions can work just the opposite, too. Some people labor under the illusion of inability and incompetence instead of believing that God can and will use them to do his work. Moses was just such a man. Early in life, Moses felt called or sensed the inner desire to help the Israelites. He tried doing it in his own way, but was quickly thwarted and disillusioned. He fled to the desert where he spent decades tending sheep for this father-in-law on the back side of the desert. Then one day God appeared to him and commissioned him to go back to Egypt and liberate a nation. Moses came up with excuse after excuse. He had been so disillusioned in himself that he had lost faith in God.

We are never to allow our disillusionment to spill over into unbelief.

God wants disillusionment to spur us on to pursue him and the truth. We want to move from self-confidence to God confidence.

Illusions are a type of lie that the Bible calls a “stronghold.”

For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. 4  For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. 5  We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (ESV) 

Beginning with Adam and Eve, mankind has shown a propensity for believing lies. Satan knows this and is a master deceiver. Jesus identified him as the “father of lies.”

In general, people accept lies more easily then they do the truth.

One salacious slander is usually more easily believed than a hundred truthful protestations of innocence. Knowing this, politicians use smear campaigns to “dirty up” their opponents.  People remember the dirt, even if it is later refuted. Sadly, once people make up their minds, it can be very difficult or impossible to change them. Delaware Senator Joe Biden and company pulled this ugly trick on Clarence Thomas during his Supreme Court nomination. Everyone should read Judge Thomas’ biography to see what this man had to overcome on the road to greatness.

To be blunt, illusions are lies. If we believe a lie, we need to be disillusioned.

Disillusionment takes place when it becomes evident to us that the lie we once believed is not true.

This can be very traumatic. Some people never recover; while others are able to learn from their mistakes and move forward. Can you imagine how difficult and it would be for a college professor who built his or her entire career on promoting Darwinism and evolution to come to terms with the truth of intelligent design and specific creation?

There are perils and benefits to being disillusioned. Jesus’ disciples, like us, needed to be disillusioned in certain areas. They had false ideas about Jesus’ mission and their roles in God’s kingdom. Despite the fact that Jesus repeatedly warned them that he would be crucified and rise again, his disciples were not able or willing to process that reality and expected him to lead a glorious revolution against Roman oppression. When the truth finally dawned on them, it was very painful. In their pain and confusion, all of them except John deserted the Lord at least temporarily.

When we are afraid to confront truth, it makes it probable that we will adopt a convenient illusion.

The Benefits of Peter’s Disillusionment

Just before his passion, Jesus told his followers that they would be scattered when he embraced his assigned destiny to die as God’s Lamb.

Then Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away because of me this night. For it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’ 32  But after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee.” 33  Peter answered him, “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.” 34  Jesus said to him, “Truly, I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” 35  Peter said to him, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” And all the disciples said the same. Matthew 26:31-35 (ESV) 

Peter believed a lie about Jesus’ destiny, and he held on to false beliefs about himself, too. He imagined that he was much stronger and more faithful to Jesus than he actually was. His confidence was based on trust in his own strength and convictions. He was proud and due for a fall, and he was not alone. The other disciples said the same thing, but Jesus chose Peter to be an example to us all.

When Jesus was first taken captive in the Garden of Gethsemane, Peter sprang into action, just as he promised Jesus that he would. He took his sword and attacked those who came to arrest Jesus, cutting off the ear of the servant of the high priest. Jesus commanded him to put away his sword and healed the wounded man. (Matthew 26:52-56)

It was one thing to die defending Jesus, but quite another to find out that Jesus had no intention of resisting those who came to kill him. Peter was ready to die fighting, but apparently not prepared to die without a fight, as Jesus did. Peter was disillusioned: he learned that following Jesus was not what he thought. His confusion led to his denying the Lord three times.

Why did Jesus call Peter out on this earlier, when he prophesied that before the rooster crowed he would deny him three times? I believe it was to help Peter hang on by faith after the denial. Knowing that Jesus knew in advance about his coming failure must have given Peter hope. Jesus did not reject Peter for his faithlessness under fire. Luke’s account of the incident adds some important details.

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, 32  but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” 33  Peter said to him, “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.” 34  Jesus said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me.” Luke 22:31-34 (ESV)  

Knowing that God selected us to belong to him, despite knowing all about our sins and weaknesses in advance, should give us all great hope, just as it did Peter.

Peter needed to be disillusioned. He needed to find out that he was not everything he thought he was. He needed to discover that God loved him despite his sins and weaknesses. Disillusionment brought humility.

I feel sure that Peter was never the same afterward. His faith in himself was less, but his faith in the grace and mercy of God was far greater.

The Peril of Judas’ Disillusionment

Judas was another disciple who became disillusioned, but he did not benefit from it. His idea of who Jesus was (and is) and what it meant to be his follower was overthrown. He gradually realized that Jesus was not on a trajectory to acquire wealth, power, and fame (of which he would be sure to share). Rather, he apparently became offended at Jesus’ disregard for money, when Mary anointed him with expensive oil prior to his death. It was just after that pivotal event that Judas agreed to betray Jesus for a fee. The sad part is that Judas never found room for repentance. His disillusionment led to his destruction.

What we do when we are confronted with the truth makes all the difference.

Principles for Handling Disillusionment

Following these principles can help us to profit during the times when we become disillusioned. Otherwise, we may become permanently embittered and disabled by disillusionment.

• Decide to follow Jesus, no matter what. Following Christ means we surrender ourselves to his Lordship. This means we give up control over our lives, choices, and destinies. If we live a surrendered life, it will help us to hang on faithfully to Jesus, even should things get painful and confusing to us. Disillusionment will not rock the world of a surrendered person. We know we are serving a person who ultimately controls everything and is working all things for our good and his glory. (Romans 8:28)
• Become well acquainted with the Bible. Disillusionment becomes necessary when we believe a lie. We can insulate ourselves from deception by embracing the truth of God’s Word. If we value truth above all else, we will be thankful when God delivers us from believing a lie.
• Develop the habit of being thankful. Thankfulness reveals a heart that is humble and surrendered. The Bible teaches us that thankfulness glorifies God. (Ephesians 5:20) God works in and through disillusionment for our benefit, if we keep our eyes on the Lord. Thank God for any area in which you are struggling. You will experience a new measure of God’s grace when you do.
• Expect to encounter suffering and tribulation in life. One of the greatest illusions many Christians face is that following Christ should be trouble free. Quite the contrary, God uses suffering and pressure to make us more like Jesus. Those who are ready for such things will find it much easier when suffering arrives on the scene. (1 Thessalonians 3:3)

Prayer

Jesus, you are the Truth. Thank you that you are leading me into more and more truth. Please deliver me from any area in my life in which I believe a lie. Help me to pass through every period of disillusionment and come out on the other side a stronger and more devoted follower. Help my faith not to fail, Lord. I give you thanks for how you are working all things together for good in my life. May I bring glory to your name. Amen