How we deal with disappointment when it comes our way is important. We can let it crush or demoralize us or we can learn from it and use it to motivate us. When we set our hearts on something, and it fails to materialize in the time we expected, it impacts our hearts, where faith lives.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12 (NASB)
The New Testament defines hope as the confident expectation that God will keep his promises.
When our expectations are not fulfilled, it is either because we had a false hope that was not based in God or because it is not time for God’s promise to be fulfilled.
The higher our expectations, the greater the possibility of disappointment. Some try to avoid disappointment by lowering expectations. This is not a good idea because our God is the God of hope. (Romans 15:13)
Hope is a sort of stretched out faith. It gives us the ability to maintain the expectation that God will fulfill his promises, no matter how long it may take.
Sometimes we think we have faith because we have pushed the fulfillment of God’s promise into the indefinite future. “Future” faith believes that “one day” God will keep his promises, but not right now. This is the kind of faith Martha had when her brother Lazarus died. When Jesus said her brother will rise again, her faith was limited to the distant unforeseeable future. (John 11:23-27) Little did she realize that her great disappointment was about to evaporate when Jesus brought Lazarus back from the dead! Restricting the fulfillment of God’s promises to the distant future relieves us of exercising faith in the present.
Faith receives “right now” the promises of God, even if the fulfillment is yet to come. Hope cannot exist without the presence of “now” faith.
“Now” faith knows that God has already answered our prayer, and hope is willing to wait for the manifestation of that answer, no matter now long it takes.
Hope maintains an attitude of expectancy during the waiting period. If we have no sense of expectancy, we probably lack faith.
An important way to ward off the debilitating effect of disappointment is to submit our expectations to God.
My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him. 6 He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be shaken. 7 On God my salvation and my glory rest; The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Psalm 62:5-7 (NASB)
King David wrote this when he patiently waited for God to keep the promise to make him king. Saul was trying to kill him. Things looked bleak, but David refused to succumb to unbelief and hopelessness or grow hard and bitter. If we place our hopes and dreams in God’s hands, waiting patiently for him to fulfill his promises, we will be able to guard our hearts against the toxic effects of disappointment.
The life of Joseph provides us with one of the best biblical examples of properly handling disappointment. He began life with many advantages. His father loved him, and God favored him. He received a couple of amazing dreams that fueled an expectation of coming greatness. But his brothers’ jealous hatred caused his life to take a sharp turn into crushing disappointment. He was betrayed, sold as a slave, falsely accused, imprisoned, passed over, and forgotten for years. In the midst of those disappointments, he kept his faith in God and refused to throw away his faith in God or to embrace hopelessness, self-pity, or bitterness. Eventually, after much waiting and suffering, God fulfilled those dreams, and Joseph was elevated to the second most powerful position in Egypt’s government and later was restored to his family.
The Psalms provide an interesting insight into his experience.
Until the time came to fulfill his dreams, the LORD tested Joseph’s character. Psalm 105:19 (NLT)
God allows us to encounter disappointments to test and develop our character.
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:3-5 (NLT)
If we rely on God during difficulties, the Bible says we will not be disappointed. That is good news.
Our disappointments can become appointments with God. If we turn to God in the midst of them, we will discover that his grace will carry us.
God will help us refashion our expectations without sacrificing our faith. Then our expectations will match his plan for our lives. He will use our disappointments to develop Christ-like character in us. We can learn to glorify God in the midst of difficulties rather than slide into unbelief, self-pity, or bitterness. The choice is ours.
Prayer
And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:5 (NLT)
Lord God, please forgive me for becoming disheartened and disappointed when my expectations are unmet. Help me instead to keep my eyes upon you. You promise us that if we trust in you we will never be disappointed. Help me, Holy Spirit, to live by faith in your faithfulness, no matter how things turn out in the short run. Amen.
