I was a Roman Catholic for the first eighteen years of my life. My parents converted to Catholicism after they were married because they were looking for a church that took a firm stand for the sanctity of marriage and against divorce, which was prevalent in both their families. I, on the other hand, was raised as a Catholic and accepted it as normal and right. I served as an altar boy for many years and attended Catholic school from third grade through the eighth. I was baptized as an infant, received my first Holy Communion as a boy, and was later confirmed. Our family was active in the church and attended regularly. It was only as an older teenager that I began to ask a lot of questions and have significant doubts about God and the church.
Catholic teaching did not provide me with a clear path to having a personal relationship with God. The church actually stood between me and God with its rules and mediatorial priesthood. I could never be sure that I would one day go to heaven because that depended on dying in what was called a state of grace, which came and went depending on sins I would commit and subsequent confession to a priest. I seriously tried to keep the rules, but the more I tried to live without sin, the more I realized how hopeless an endeavor that is. Later I read in the Bible that this frustration with trying to be good was exactly what God intended to lead us to Christ (Galatians 3:22), but then I did not know that.
I attempted to please a God who was “out there” looking at me, but whom I did not know personally and was never there to help me, it seemed. In my frustration I began to wonder if God even could be known. I called myself an agnostic and began looking for God and truth outside the church. When I went to college, I discovered Zen Buddhism and Transcendental Meditation, which were trendy at the time. I tried meditation, thinking that perhaps truth could be discovered there, since Christianity had let me down.
It was about this time that the girl I was dating, who is now my wife of fifty years, wrote to tell me that she had become a Bible believing “born again” Christian. This was strange news to a Catholic, especially from someone with the same background as me. I found myself resisting and criticizing her beliefs and experience, but could not sway her a bit. That made an impression on me. Maybe she was on to something.
After a couple of weeks of wrestling with these things, I decided to experiment. I prayed to Jesus, whose very existence I doubted, asking him, if he were real, to come into my life and reveal himself to me. I left it at that. I did not struggle with it any more. I even temporarily forgot I said the prayer. Interestingly, however, I noticed that I was changing. I was happier and more willing to do nice things for people. I thought that perhaps my meditation was having a good effect. My girlfriend, Martha, came to visit, and we talked about Jesus some more. After dropping her off at the women’s dorm where she was staying, I caught a ride back to my dorm. Being hungry, I decided to stop by a small room with vending machines, where I bought something to eat. I was all alone, as it was late at night. Thinking about everything Martha and I had discussed and wondering about my life, I suddenly remembered that prayer to Jesus. At that very moment, God’s presence seemed to fill the room. Somehow I instantly knew Jesus is real and went from unbelief to having a strong conviction that he is everything the Bible says about him. Joy and peace filled my heart in a way I had never known. This was what I call my born again experience. From that time on everything became new and different.
Later I read the following verses and realized that God has been very gracious to me by opening my spiritual eyes and heart.
Jesus replied, “I assure you, no one can enter the Kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit. 6 Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life. 7 So don’t be surprised when I say, ‘You must be born again.’ 8 The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.” John 3:5–8 (NLT) —
The first thing I did was go to my nearby dorm, where several of my friends were still awake. I told them what had happened to me and let them know that Jesus is real and can be known. That was my first attempt at sharing the good news. I did not know much, but I knew that. That night it was difficult for me to fall asleep. I was excited and also wondering if I would still believe in the morning. Was this just a passing fancy or a new permanent reality? The next morning I woke up still believing, and here I am writing this article some fifty-two years later. I told Martha what had happened. She was surprised and overjoyed, as you might imagine. We have served the Lord together ever since.
That night changed my life in the most fundamental way. I went from feeling lost and alone in the universe to knowing I am loved by its Creator. I transitioned from doubt to having the assurance that God is real and loves me, his words are true and faithful, and I have eternal life. I want others to know about this amazing God who is willing and able to reveal himself to us!
One thing I understood right away was that my new birth had absolutely nothing to do with the Catholic Church. Priests never even told me that I could know God in this way. Only one older gentleman named Allen Graham, who taught a class for teens, said that God can be known, but at the time I did not know how. Eventually, as I became more and more familiar with the Bible, I realized that the Catholic Church long ago departed from Scripture in many areas. Instead of being a vehicle for people to experience the freedom of the gospel, it became an enslaving religious institution. Eventually I realized that I had to part ways.
I do not write this to condemn any family or friends who are still part of the Catholic Church. There are many truly born again believers who have remained in that church. However, I believe that I have a responsibility to share how Catholic doctrine has combined elements of the Old Testament with the New to alter the gospel message. The apostle Paul wrote that if anyone or group preaches a different gospel, they are cursed or under God’s judgment. (Galatians 1:8-9) The Catholic syncretistic betrayal of the New Covenant cannot be ignored. I hope that these articles will make it clear why I believe this and help you in some way.
Pete
