Paul the apostle once wrote that it is unwise to compare ourselves to others. (2 Corinthians 10:12) In another place he said that he formerly evaluated people based on human judgment, but now he made it his goal to see people according to the Spirit.
So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! 17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:16-17 (NLT)
When we evaluate people improperly we can fall into two traps. On one hand, we may assume, based on outward appearances or first impressions, that they are more than they really are in the Spirit. On the other hand, we may focus on their faults and end up seeing and appreciating less than God has put in them.
It is sad and potentially devastating when we fail to recognize what is good about someone because we only see their shortcomings.
We may unintentionally communicate that we are less than pleased or delighted with them because they are not something, instead of letting them know that we appreciate who they are. This is especially prevalent when we relate to those who are very much unlike us. Sometimes we do not even know how to help and encourage them.
None of us can be who we are not, and we may never flower into who we are without the proper encouragement and love.
If we fail to delight in someone, we communicate judgment instead. It’s one thing to correct someone who is obviously sinning, but it is quite another to communicate a general or even subtle dissatisfaction with someone because they don’t measure up to some standard we set for them.
It is pointless and self-defeating to try to live up to other people’s expectations. Ultimately, we have only one person to please, the Lord, and he delights in us based on what Jesus did for us.
Paul wrote:
As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don’t even trust my own judgment on this point. 4 My conscience is clear, but that doesn’t prove I’m right. It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide. 5 So don’t make judgments about anyone ahead of time—before the Lord returns. For he will bring our darkest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives. Then God will give to each one whatever praise is due. 1 Corinthians 4:3-5 (NLT)
A good friend of mine once told me that what other people think about us is none of our business. Yet we may fall into the trap of allowing others to determine how we see ourselves.
The only safe way for us to view ourselves is through the lens of who we are in Christ.
If God is pleased with us, nothing else really matters. Jesus was able to endure the hostility of the Jewish leaders and Roman authorities because he was firmly convinced that his Father loved and delighted in him. He knew this because the Father told him so.
He was still speaking when, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him.” Matthew 17:5 (ESV)
What was and is true about Jesus is now true about us. The Father delights in us as much as in Jesus because we are now one with our Lord. We have been given Christ’s right standing with the Father. When we come before Father God, we come clothed in his righteousness. We are fully accepted in the Beloved Son.
All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. 4 Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. Ephesians 1:3-4 (NLT)
We cannot afford to allow others to define who we are. We must decide that God alone defines our acceptability. None of us are perfect. Most of us have glaring weaknesses, but God is still fully pleased with us in Christ. The Holy Spirit is transforming us on a daily basis, but he does so in light of our being already fully acceptable to him because of Christ.
God wants us to do the same for others. Most of us can see where we and others fall short, and the Accuser of the Brethren, the devil, will help us out in this area, if we need it. Only the Holy Spirit can help us see people through the eyes of faith.
It is important for us to communicate in words, attitude, and demeanor that we love, appreciate, and delight in who others are in Christ, instead of judging them for what they are not.
We do this even when we must administer correction and discipline. The choice is ours. Will we receive God’s delight in us or the disappointment that may come from others? Will we choose to communicate love, acceptance, and delight in our brothers and sisters in the Lord and our natural children, or will we let them know that we are somewhat disappointed in them? Do unto others…
