Everyone experiences disappointment. When we set our hearts on something, and it fails to materialize, it does something to our hearts, where faith lives.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12 (NASB)
The reason we are disappointed is because our expectations are not fulfilled. The higher our expectations, the greater the possibility of disappointment. Some try to avoid disappointment by lowering expectations. This is not a good idea because our God is the God of hope. (Romans 15:13)
Hope is the ability to continue to maintain the high expectation that God will fulfill his promises, no matter how long it may take.
Many people claim to have faith because they have pushed the fulfillment of God’s promise into the indefinite future. It is a kind of reverse version of evolutionary thinking. Evolution claims that the complexity of life randomly developed from chaos over eons of time. If enough time is allowed, all things are possible, even the impossible. “Future” faith believes that “one day” God will keep his promises, but not right now. This is the kind of faith Martha had when her brother Lazarus died. Jesus was going to raise her brother from the dead “now,” but her faith was limited to the distant unforeseeable future. (John 11:23-27)
Restricting the fulfillment of God’s promises to the distant future allows us to avoid exercising our faith in the here and now, which can lull us into thinking we have faith when we do not.
Faith receives “right now” the promises of God, even if the fulfillment is yet to come.
Hope depends on “now” faith. It cannot exist by itself. Hope is stretched out faith. “Now” faith knows that God has already answered our prayer, but it is willing to wait for the manifestation of that answer, no matter now long it takes. It maintains an attitude of expectancy during the waiting period. This is very important.
If we have no sense of expectancy, we probably lack faith.
Rather than lower of expectations, which is another way of saying we do not believe, a better way to ward off the debilitating effect of disappointment is to submit our expectations to God.
My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him. 6 He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be shaken. 7 On God my salvation and my glory rest; The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Psalm 62:5-7 (NASB)
King David wrote this when he patiently waited for God to keep the promise to make him king. Saul was trying to kill him. Things looked bleak, but David refused to cave in to unbelief and hopelessness or grow hard and bitter. If those things are allowed to happen, disappointment becomes toxic and will likely ruin our lives. If we place our hopes and dreams in God’s hands, waiting patiently for him to fulfill his promises, we will be able to guard our hearts.
The life of Joseph provides us with one of the best biblical examples of properly handling disappointment. He began life with many advantages. His father loved and God favored him. He received a couple of amazing dreams that fueled an expectation of coming greatness. But his brothers’ jealous hatred caused his life to take a sharp turn into disappointment. He was betrayed, sold as a slave, falsely accused, imprisoned, and forgotten for years. In the midst of those disappointments, he kept his faith in God and refused to succumb to unbelief, hopelessness, self-pity, or bitterness. Eventually, after much waiting and suffering, God fulfilled everything and he was elevated to a very high position in Egypt’s government and was restored to his family.
The Psalms provide an interesting insight into his experience.
Until the time came to fulfill his dreams, the LORD tested Joseph’s character. Psalm 105:19 (NLT)
God allows us to encounter disappointments in life to test and develop our character.
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:3-5 (NLT)
If we rely on God during difficulties, the Bible says we will not be disappointed. That is good news.
Our disappointments can become appointments with God. If we turn to God, we will discover that his grace is enough.
God will help us refashion our expectations without sacrificing our faith. Then our expectations will match his plan for our lives. He will use our disappointments to develop Christ-like character in us. We can learn to glorify God in the midst of difficulties rather than slide into unbelief, self-pity, or bitterness. The choice is ours.
Prayer
And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:5 (NLT)
Lord God, please forgive me for becoming disheartened and disappointed when my expectations are unmet. Help me instead to keep my eyes upon you. You promise that if we trust in you we will never be disappointed. Help me, Holy Spirit, to live by faith in your faithfulness, no matter how things turn out in the short run. Amen.
