Why is marriage such a controversial topic? Is it an outdated man-made contrivance that we should discard, or is it a God-given protection and blessing? The assault on traditional marriage by many in power today is spiritual warfare and an attempt to undermine God’s benevolent rule. Those who reject marriage reject God’s plan and the inherent blessings attached. We are sowing the wind and will reap the whirlwind. (Hosea 8:7)
The Naturalistic Worldview and Marriage
One prevalent modern way of interpreting reality is through the lens of the naturalistic worldview, which conjectures that there is no God, no Creator, and no being outside of ourselves to whom people are ultimately accountable. According to this viewpoint, life is strictly biologically mechanistic, having no spiritual component. We are sentient beings that randomly evolved from unconscious and uncaring matter of an unknown origin. This worldview allows for no sort of conscious creation or involvement by an outside intelligent force or being.
In this way of seeing the world, all morality, laws, and values are human constructs that can be altered or abolished at will. There is no ultimate test for what is right or wrong. All that we have are socially accepted norms enforced by those in power.
The West is increasingly embracing this way of looking at life, which is fueling our drift away from traditional marriage values, which derive from the ancient Judaeo-Christian ethic and tradition.
Under the naturalistic worldview, marriage is a primitive social contrivance, perhaps needed in an age when women were unable to fend for themselves and were more at risk. It is not needed today when women have been empowered by society to forge their own destinies and compete on an equal footing with men.
According to this worldview, the institution of marriage can be tinkered with or even abolished, according to the whims or preferences of whoever is in power politically, without any fear of repercussions coming from a Supreme Being. Man is evolving and so should society and its laws.
Marriage may be viewed by naturalists as limiting people and against “nature,” since we often are drawn to other sexual partners than the one we happen to be with now. Why should we limit ourselves to one person over a lifetime or encumber ourselves with all the legal and financial obligations of the marriage “contract?” Today sex is readily available outside of the marriage bond: so, being wed is no longer viewed as the only safe and legitimate way to enjoy sexual privileges, as was the case in years past.
In addition, why should a primary wage earner or wealthy person take the financial risks associated with marriage? We see examples all around us of unfaithful partners exacting financial revenge on their former spouses or leaving their wealthy partner with half of his or her assets, perhaps never having intended to be faithful over the long haul. Former husbands, who may have done nothing to destroy their marriages, often are forced to carry the impossible burden of supporting two households, even in the cases when the wife abandons the marriage to pursue someone else and takes the children.
The only reason for marriage under the naturalistic worldview is for the stability it offers to the one who is not the primary wage earner and to the children.
If not for the marriage agreement, many primary wage earners might abandon their spouse and children, leaving them destitute.
However, even the naturalist must acknowledge the emotional forces that influence people to marry. It seems that humans have a built in desire, at least at first, to be forever faithful. Multitudes of love songs illustrate that lovers regularly promise lifelong fidelity to the one they desire. Unfortunately, over the long haul, those strong feelings of love and sexual desire often fade, leaving people feeling as if they have been somehow robbed, and setting them up to go looking for another with whom to go through the cycle again, producing serial monogamy at best, and transient sexual partners at worst.
It is easy to see why, looking at life through the naturalistic worldview, marriage may not be a great idea.
Why not cohabit without legal ties with the person with whom we want to share life? Why not depend on a person’s desire to remain in the relationship, instead of binding the person legally? Why not leave the door open for escape without the costs involved with legal divorce? That is the reasoning many today use as they forego marriage and choose to simply live together, many times having and raising children under this set up. Time will tell if this is a wise course of action. Our aging populace may one day rue not having a firmer relational foundation.
The Biblical Worldview
The God-centered worldview has many subsets. I will limit myself to the Christian biblical viewpoint, because that is mine.
This approach accepts that the Bible is a completely reliable source of truth and its account of creation is accurate.
Therefore, Scripture provides us with the truth about God, mankind, life, destiny, judgment, salvation, and many other things, including our subject, marriage. Faith in the God of the Bible shapes our entire way of looking at life.
The biblical worldview teaches us that God created the first man, named Adam. Out of Adam, he created, Eve, a suitable or complementary partner for him.
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper as his complement.” Genesis 2:18 (HCSB)
The Bible teaches that God created humans in his image. The logic here is that by pulling Eve out of Adam, God requires the recombination of male and female in marriage to get back to the whole. Another way to put this is that it takes both the male and female to give us a more complete idea of what God is like. This complementarian view acknowledges that men and women need each other for more than just producing children.
God prefaced the creation of Eve with the acknowledgement that “it is not good for the man to be alone.” The first reason God brought a man and woman together was to alleviate loneliness.
Some have called marriage first and foremost a “covenant of companionship.” The second paramount reason for a man and woman to be joined together in marriage, according to the Bible, is to fulfill God’s first commandment following creation to be fruitful and multiply. God created marriage therefore, to provide companionship and children. This is called the family, the basic unit of society, the most important social institution on the planet.
The family provides protection, provision, training, and guidance to its members and stability to society.
Since God created us male and female, and joined a man and woman together for life, humanity does not have permission to alter what God instituted.
Nor can we lightly terminate marriages without going against God’s created order. Jesus taught us the following:
Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?" 4 And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, 5 and said, 'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH'? 6 "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." 7 They *said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY?" 8 He *said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery." Matthew 19:3-9 (NASB)
Why Marriage Is Hated by Many
The basic sin of humankind is rebellion against God. People who do not acknowledge that God is the Creator have declared war against God. Their mission is to try to throw off any rules and regulations that God has instituted. This is what Adam and Eve did in the garden, when they decided to disobey God’s simple command and make a go of doing life independently.
Since marriage was instituted by God and declared by Jesus to non-violable, it is only reasonable that those who will not acknowledge or surrender to Jesus’ lordship will not submit to this ordinance either.
Just as Adam and Eve decided to make their own decisions regarding right and wrong, mankind today continues with this exercise in futility by questioning and discarding something as foundational as marriage.
The Bible teaches that those who launch out on this course become foolish and bring destruction upon themselves. (Romans 1:21-22)
Today marriage is a controversial topic because Satan and those under his influence are working hard to destroy it. The devil knows that if marriage goes, so does society. He is a destroyer, thief, and murderer. He wants humanity to suffer and society to be overthrown.
Experience, research, and statistics show that broken marriages harm everyone involved, particularly children. In single family homes, children are far more likely to drop out of school, turn to crime, and under-perform in life. In addition, children from broken and single parent homes usually lack a good model for marriage. Therefore, they do not know what a good marriage is or how to work toward having one. Generally, broken families perpetuate themselves for generations, unless with God’s help people rise to the occasion and make a stand to build and maintain good marriages.
Making the Commitment to Build a Strong Marriage
Hopefully, you see the importance of marriage and are willing to make a commitment to build a strong one for your own good, the good of your children, the good of society, and, most importantly, the glory of God. The articles that follow will provide you with some keys and insights that will help you build a great marriage, if you are willing to follow Christ’s teachings and trust in the Holy Spirit to do in you and your spouse the deep inner work that will be necessary.
Prayer
Lord Jesus, I acknowledge that you are the Lord of my life. I submit myself, my marriage, my spouse, and my family to you. I ask you to teach me your ways and change me on the inside, so that I can better obey you and love my family. I ask you to bless my spouse and marriage. Amen.
