Anyone who has heard or read the story of how Nathan the prophet fingered King David for committing adultery with Bathsheba and murdering her husband and his friend, Uriah the Hittite, will never forget the drama of self-discovery experienced by the king. (2 Samuel 12:1-15) After setting David up with a story of a rich ruler who stole a poor man’s only sheep instead of using one from his own large flock, David became furious and demanded that the scoundrel be punished severely. Nathan’s words, “You are the man,” brought David to his senses and prompted him to repent for his sins. Those words still ring true for us today.
We are often our own worst enemy, blindly hating in others what we despise in ourselves.
You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things. Romans 2:1 (NLT)
Problem: We may experience self-inflicted loneliness if we repel potential friends by being critical and judgmental.
As anyone who has lived very long knows, we generally do not respond well to criticism. When we engage in such, it reveals that we see ourselves as a judge of others. It is difficult to be the friend of a judge.
Jesus was called the “friend of sinners.”
Tax collectors and other notorious sinners often came to listen to Jesus teach. 2 This made the Pharisees and teachers of religious law complain that he was associating with such sinful people—even eating with them! Luke 15:1-2 (NLT)
It was a derogatory title pinned on him by the Jewish religious leaders, who held those whom Jesus befriended in contempt. Those leaders believed that they were morally superior because of their knowledge of the Law and their imagined adherence to it. The truth is that we all fall short of God’s glory and fail to keep the requirements of the Law. (Romans 3:23)
No one is ever in a place to despise other human beings.
Jesus, on the other hand, who was truly superior in every way to all others, gladly chose to be with the ones whom the religious leaders judged and shunned. Those labeled as “sinners” picked up on Jesus’ love and were attracted to him, at least the ones whose hearts were open to his message of hope and forgiveness. The interesting thing is that Jesus calls us to leave our sin and follow him, but he does it in such a way that draws humble people toward him rather than pushing them away, as the religious hypocrites did.
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT)
Criticism breeds criticism. Rejection usually gets rejected in return, but love draws people.
It is true that God judges sin. He has the right to do that, but he has provided a remedy in his Son, who died on our behalf in order to provide forgiveness and reconciliation. Those who reject the good news that Jesus took our punishment and guilt upon himself, can only expect judgment from God. However, those who believe the gospel are able to receive and enjoy God’s love.
God’s heart is open toward anyone who is willing to receive his love and who is humble enough to admit his or her desperate need for forgiveness and help.
Pride is harsh and unforgiving, but humility is gentle and inviting.
Solution: Loving humility is a huge key to having and keeping friends.
Mature followers of Christ learn how to make proper assessments of people without descending into thinking we are somehow superior. Jesus completely knows people and their motives. Nothing is hidden from him, but his heart remains open to those who are open to him, regardless of their shortcomings and failures. That is why we have hope.
We all need friends. If we want to have more of them, we should try being more humble and loving and less critical.
We may find that those we formerly criticized and rejected have much to offer in the way of friendship if we start treating them as we wish to be treated. We can ask the Holy Spirit to take the “log” out of our own eyes, so that we will be able to properly see others through God’s eyes. If we make the effort to be friends with “sinners,” just maybe someone will decide to reach out to those other sinners in the neighborhood – us.
