The dictionary defines frustration as the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of an inability to change, control, or achieve something. We get frustrated when our desires are blocked in some way. Sound familiar? Many people try to deal with frustration by trying even harder to make things turn out the way they want. There is a better solution.

Some parts of life are meant to be under our dominion, but God reserves many areas to himself. Only God has the wisdom to guide our daily lives. When we try to take over, it reveals our pride and lack of trust in him. The Book of Proverbs teaches us that our very “steps” are beyond our control, being sovereignly directed by the Lord. (Proverbs 20:24) God reveals himself throughout Scripture as the Sovereign Lord who rules over all things, including the details of each individual life. He even directs the courses taken by nations and nature. It is true that he grants some people enormous power and authority in leadership positions; but, it is only an illusion if they think they are ultimately in control.

Some of us have very strong personalities and wills and are able to manipulate people and situations to our benefit and desire, but we are never truly in control. God retains that right to himself. Until we come to terms with that we will be frustrated.

It has long been man’s desire to be in control and independent from God. This was first revealed in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve quickly traded their status as highly favored, God-dependent children of God for being fallen, lonely, dying, self-directed beings. They rejected the God who created them because they neither understood nor trusted him, which made them susceptible to the devil’s lie that it is possible to live freely and fully while being autonomous from God.

When we refuse to live in dependence and partnership with God, we experience a life filled with frustration. It has to be that way, since we are acting outside of the parameters given to us by our Creator.

Since Adam’s and Eve’s first act of rebellion against God’s created order, men and women have been hell bent on pursuing complete autonomy from God. Some of us choose to deny God’s existence outright, thinking that we can get rid of him. Others of us create “gods” in our own image, which will approve or at least allow all the things we want to do. Both “solutions” are an attempt to be in control.

When Moses ascended Mount Sinai to spend forty days in God’s presence, the Israelites grew restless and frustrated. They felt “out of control,” not knowing what was happening.

When the people saw that Moses delayed in coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said to him, “Get up, make us gods that will go before us. As for this fellow Moses, the man who brought us up from the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him!” Exodus 32:1 (NET1)

Idolatry is rooted in our desire to be in control of our lives and God. We don’t like the God who cannot be manipulated; so, we choose for ourselves gods after our own image, who allow us to do whatever we wish. Since the true God is not able to be manipulated, we become frustrated.

The god manufactured by Aaron in response to the people’s wishes was to “go before” Israel, but such a god could only go where the people took him. It is amazing how easily we fool ourselves. The desire to be in control of our lives will always lead to sin and deception. Even people who believe in God and try to follow Christ are susceptible to this kind of idolatry.

• We devise religious rules and regulations, thinking that by keeping them we can manipulate God into loving and accepting us. This is the basis of legalism.
• We create a theology in which we imagine that God would never allow suffering to come into our lives, only what we consider blessings.
• We use prayer as a sort of magical incantation, thinking that if we get the words just right (translated “positive confession”), God will be bound to respond to our “faith.”
• We get depressed and discouraged, or, maybe, angry, depending on our personality type, when things do not turn out the way we desire, because we are just not quite sure that God is truly sovereign, loving, wise, and faithful.
• We try to “cut a deal” with God, telling him that if he will answer our prayer, we will fulfill some vow. And the list goes on.

When we try to be in control, we show that we have never comprehended what it means to surrender our lives to Jesus the LORD.

Jesus knew what it meant to be completely surrendered to his Father’s will, which is what he wants for us, too. Jesus was able to do this because he was convinced that his Father loved him beyond comprehension. Faith in God’s faithfulness will enable us to follow in our Lord’s footsteps of surrender.

The only way to properly deal with the root of frustration is to completely submit our lives, desires, relationships, money, health, and futures – everything – to the Sovereign Lord, who loves us beyond our comprehension. We must cast aside the fear that he is not trustworthy.

So, the next time you find yourself angry, depressed, discouraged, afraid, or frustrated, ask yourself, “Have I truly surrendered myself and my situation to the Lord?” “Am I trusting him completely, even if I do not understand how he is directing my steps?” If not, you know what to do. The cure for frustration is both simple and difficult. Simple to understand and difficult to do. But it is worth it.

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations,I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalm 46:10 (ESV)