Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21-22 (ESV)
Forgiveness is sometimes more of a challenge than we might expect. Let me give you a couple of examples. If I believe someone has forgotten to pay me back $100 I loaned them years ago, I may forgive them the debt without ever bringing it up to them. However, if I overhear them telling another person how I am a weak person and an easy mark, and how funny it is that I never asked for my money back, I will likely have difficulty with forgiving that transgression. Likewise, if someone acts harshly towards me, I may forgive them because I can mark it off to their having a bad day, perhaps. But if this harshness happens every week over several years, what will I do then?
Confrontation will likely be necessary in both of the above cases, but what if that produces no repentance? We are left with the choice of releasing the person from the debt of offense or holding on to a desire for payback. To forgive is to release someone from the debt they owe us, whether it be financial or some other kind.
Apparently the challenge of forgiving the habitual offender is behind Jesus’ command in the above passage that we should forgive without limits. We sometimes think we have reached “the end of our rope” with people, but that is where the fruit of the Spirit can really grow in our lives. Long-suffering or patience can only be manifested when it is needed, or as Graham Cooke teaches, “The fruit of the Spirit can only grow in poor soil.”
If we loose patience with others and cease to offer forgiveness to them because of their recurring sins, we, in effect, tell God that we want Him to do the same to us; and, that is not a deal that is in our best interests. Remember the parable of the unforgiving servant. (Matthew 18:23-35) He was turned over to the tormentors for not showing mercy in the way it was given to him. Forgiveness is not easy. If it were, no one would struggle with obeying God in this area. Forgiveness is very costly. It cost Jesus His life, and it costs us our pride and desire for revenge. Only humble people can forgive. Below is a prayer for God’s help in the matter.
Prayer
Father, forgive me for the pride that makes me think I have the right to refuse to forgive others! I acknowledge that I am a sinner and in continual need of your mercy towards me. Keep me from becoming hard-hearted and arrogant. Give me compassion towards others and a greater understanding of your loving mercy towards us all. Jesus already paid the price to satisfy your demand for justice; so, I can let people go from mine. You are the only Judge who matters, and you will make sure that everything is handled correctly and justice delivered. That is not my concern. Holy Spirit, I ask you to develop the fruit of long-suffering in my life. Amen!
